


Deadshot

by HawkyBarton



Series: The many AUs of Clint Francis Barton [5]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Romance Novel, Diana palmer au, LOOK I'M FINALLY DOING THIS AFTER LIKE TWO YEARS, M/M, not strictly canon complaint, will add more tags and stuff as I go along
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-15 14:55:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 18,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9240143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HawkyBarton/pseuds/HawkyBarton
Summary: Things have gone to absolute shit in New York. Clint knew he didn't belong there anymore, but he was sure he did somewhere.Enter: Jacobsville, Texas.A tiny place full of farmers and tiny town gosssip - a far cry from New York's hustle and bustle.Clint could relax here and fade into the background.But, Jacobsville is more like the old life he knew than he had originally thought.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!! This is a fic that I was going to start like two years ago, but didn't for some reason that I don't really recall. But, here it is now! Hopefully this won't take me a year and a half to write like Mary Bartons did, but life is life and all that. Enjoy!

Clint looked around the farm that he had just bought and took a deep breath. _This is gonna be good for me, this is just what I need._

It had been a year and a half since the Battle of New York, and despite everything that Clint had gone through to get over… well… Everything he had gone through, Clint had still felt like his life was one big waste.

Natasha was off somewhere with Steve and their new pal, Sam, looking for Bucky. Tony and Bruce were always busy with their experiments and helping Pepper get over the incident with A.I.M. Thor was in Asgard with Jane talking things over with his dad, and mourning his mother. Phil was.... Gone. Then there was S.H.I.E.L.D. and all its personnel that had treated him like crap for almost 2 years for being a ‘traitor,’ when half the damn agency was working for Hydra!

So, essentially, Clint had been on the verge of a nervous breakdown in New York, and it had seemed like a _great_ idea to get the fuck out of there.

Clint had traveled around the East Coast on his bike for a couple of weeks, but eventually he had gotten to Georgia and heard about this little town from some guy named Russell, and thought it would be the best place for Clint to settle down.

The town was called Jacobsville in Jacobs County, Texas. Apparently the population of the town was about 2,000 or so, way less than that of New York (or hell, just of the S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ for that matter), and was mostly a town of farmers and agriculture.

It was a far cry from the hustle and bustle of New York, but after having traveled with the circus, and growing up on a farm in Iowa, Clint thought he was more than ready for the challenge.

Luckily, Clint had a huge amount of money saved up from working at S.H.I.E.L.D. and from his merc days, so setting up the farm and starting up on his ranching wouldn’t be too bad.

Looking around, Clint sighed and walked over to his bike. “Item needed number one, a fucking truck. Item needed number two, supplies. Item needed number three, fucking friends”

Nodding to himself, Clint slipped on his bike and drove into the town to pick up some groceries.


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint meets a few of the locals, and Phil figures out some new information.

Clint parked his bike at the closest grocery store and walked inside the building.

It was small, but no smaller than some of the mom and pop shops back in New York. You know, the ones that had pretty much everything you needed - but nothing too fancy like all that kale and vegan shit.

Clint shuddered at the thought of being vegan.

Grabbing a cart, Clint took his time as he went through the aisles, really trying to figure out what he wanted. Back when he had been working for SHIELD, Clint had never had time for this sort of thing. Usually by the end of the day (or a long ass mission), he had just enough energy to grab the essentials and head home to order pizza. Now though, now Clint could actually _cook._

A love in his life that nobody really knew about (well except for Natasha and... Phil).

With all the free time he had Clint would be a cooking maniac.

His first meal?

Definitely three cheese ziti, that had always been Phil's fav-... No. Clint's first meal would be a steak dinner followed by apple pie.

"Yeah, that sounds good" He muttered to himself as he grabbed the ingredients.

Clint grabbed the rest of the things he needed and headed to the cash register.

"Will that be all sir?" The teenage cashier asked him.

Clint nodded, "Yeah."

The boy nodded and started to bag up Clint's groceries. "If you don't mind me asking... Are you new in town, or just visiting?"

Clint hummed, "New. Just bought that old farm just outside the city limits"

"Oh cool! That's not too far from my pop's place if that's the farm I'm thinking of... Let me introduce myself: Matt Ballenger. My dad and my uncle own the feedlot"

Clint nodded and shook the boy's hand. "Nice to meet you.... I guess you grew up here?"

"You bet I did. My family's been in the area for a long time, and my aunt is related to Big John Jacobs himself"

Clint blinked, not knowing who the hell that was. "Cool?"

Matt laughed, "He's the reason this place is called Jacobs County and Jacobsville.... So it's like a big deal to the locals"

"Ahhhh"

"Yeah... Well, your groceries are all packed up - I guess I'll see you around!"

Clint nodded, "Yeah I guess you will"

Pushing his cart out of the store, Clint shot off a wave to the boy and headed back to his bike.

"Okay Barton... Now what's your brilliant plan on how to get this stuff back to your house" He groaned when he got out to his bike. "I need a fucking truck"

 "Did somebody say they need a truck?" A voice said from behind Clint.

Clint, who most definitely did _not_ jump at the noise (since he is a super secret agent who is always 100% aware of everything around him) simply turned his head and raised an eyebrow. "Pardon me?"

The man (a big man with a nice smile, thinning hair, and a huge stomach) jutted out his hand for Clint to shake.  
Turkey Sanders. I own the car lot. If you're looking for a decent deal on a truck - I'm your man"

Clint shook the offered hand. "Do you always walk around waiting for people to mention needing a car? Or were you just lucky today?"

Turkey chuckled. "Luck, chasing after people - whatever gets me business, eh?"

Clint laughed. "I guess you're right. Give me the directions and I'll be over first thing tomorrow morning"

Turkey grinned and did just that.

By 10AM the next morning, Clint was the owner of a gently pre-used 2008 Ford F-150. Only had 70,000 miles on it, never been in any accidents, and had just gotten a tune up.

It was perfect.

"Thanks Mr. Sanders!" Clint said as he jumped into the truck.

"Please call me Turkey - we don't like formalities in Jacobsville"

Clint chuckled. "Okay... Thanks Turkey"

"You're welcome. Have a good day son!"

"You too"

With a wave, Clint drove off. Arriving home in almost no time (which had been unheard of in New York) Clint practically skipped inside and threw himself down onto his couch.

He sat there for a few minutes enjoying the quiet, but that became not enough far too quickly.

"Okay.... Now what?"

Clint need to find a hobby.

 

*******

_Bzzt! Bzzt!_

Clint groaned and blindly grabbed his vibrating cellphone.

"'lo?" He said sleepily once he turned the phone on, not having bothered to look at who was calling.

Nobody said anything.

"Hello?" He asked again, with a little more force.

Nothing.

Rolling his eyes, Clint shut off the call with a huff and tried to fall back asleep.

_Bzzzzzzzzt!_

A text?

Rolling back over, Clint turned back on the device.

**{Tash} Put in your ears stupid.**

_Oh.  
_

Quickly grabbing his hearing aids, Clint got them settled right as his phone rang again.

"Tasha?"

"Your ears in?"

"Yes"

"Good. I need your help"

Clint groaned, knowing that he wouldn't like whatever she needed his help with. "But I'm semi-retired!!" He whined.

"You're semi-nothing. How fast can you make it to New York?"

Clint looked at his watch. _1:30 AM._

"We talking commercial or Stark?"

"Commercial. If it was Stark you would have heard him by now"

Clint sighed. "Right... Tonight, probably this afternoon if I hurry"

"Good. See you then"

_Click._

Clint tossed his phone onto his night stand and looked at the clock. _I wonder if it is worth it to go back to sleep?_

_Bzzzzzzzzzzt!_

**{Tash} No rest for the wicked. Ass in gear Barton - Avengers Assemble.  
**

_Well that answers that question.  
_

 

*******

Clint got to Stark tower by 3 the next afternoon. He was tired, hungry, grumpy, and still dressed for a day at his farm - but he got there.

"Okay I'm here. What the fuck is up?"

Tasha gave him a once over. "Are you wearing cowboy boot.... and flannel?"

"Legolas is wearing cowboy gear?!"

Clint narrowed his eyes. "You'll pay for this"

Natasha smirked as Tony came into view.

"Jav, buddy, please tell me you're taking pictures"

"As always sir"

Clint groaned. "Is there a reason I was summoned?"

"Yes. We need you on a mission... Long term"

Clint frowned and looked at Steve as he entered the room. "I told you guys I was semi-retired. Long term missions defeat that purpose"

Steve had the audacity to blush (which meant this mission was something Clint would have never expected in a million years). "It's not a normal mission per se..."

Clint's eyes narrowed once more. "...What is it then?"

"Me."

 

*******

"Do you even know anything about farming?"

"No... Do you?"

"... Shut your whore mouth Barnes"

Bucky snickered. "I can just tell this will be _loads_ of fun"

Clint shot the other sniper a look. "Right. Make yourself at home I guess: Guest bedroom and bathroom are down the hall, kitchen to the right - don't eat my rocky road ice cream or I will murder you in your sleep, barn has exercise equipment."

"Okay..."

Clint grunted and escaped to the kitchen.

_Fucking Rogers and his puppy dog eyes. Making me babysit and be guard dog for his goddamn Russian boyfriend. This is gonna be a fucking nightmare._

"Do you need help doing anything?"

Clint turned his head to look at Bucky. "Nah... To be honest there's nothing around to do anyway. Haven't found a hobby yet"

Bucky gave Clint a once over. "Inactivity killing ya, huh?"

" _Yes"_

Bucky chuckled. "Felt the same way back in New York. But since I'm a wanted criminal it's not like I could take yoga classes and go to the Met or whatever"

Clint let out a chuckle himself. "You were driving everyone nuts, weren't you?"

"Yep"

Clint sighed. "Yeah... I was too... Guess it's good we got away from all that?

Bucky nodded. "Right... So I guess we should find ourselves some hobbies"

"Sounds like a damn solid plan to me"

 

*******

"You lied to me!" Phil spat.

Fury sighed and looked at Maria, who just shrugged her shoulders and stayed quiet. "It was a necessary precaution"

"Necessary!! Everybody I love thinks I'm dead!"

Fury rubbed at his forehead, "Cheese. Be reasonable here. You know they needed something to push them into being a team at the Battle of Manhattan. That something, that catalyst, was you"

Phil gave Nick a flabbergasted look. "That's all fine and dandy Marcus - _but I'm not dead."_

Maria winced, "Phil... With the Kree DNA in your system, we believed it wasn't wise to let the Avengers in on the secret, lest things became.... complicated"

"You mean me going insane and then them blaming SHIELD?"

Fury and Maria looked at each other once more (a habit they had developed recently, and one Phil was getting exceedingly pissed off about). "I guess that would be correct" Fury said eventually.

"I can't believe this! I thought SHIELD, I thought _you_ were better than this"

This time it was Fury who winced. "I did what I thought was best at the time... Besides, you have your new team you always wanted. What are you complaining about?"

Phil shook his head. "The team I wanted included Nat and Clint. But, of course, they couldn't be included because they were too busy thinking I was _dead"_

Fury sighed. "I'm sorry Cheese. But what's done is done. What would you like me to do about it?"

Phil gave them both his blandest 'Agent Coulson' look. "Fix it"

 

*******

 Clint dropped the handsaw and the screwdriver set into the cart.

"We're gonna bankrupt me" Clint said with a chuckle.

Bucky rolled his eyes, "Like that'll ever happen while's Stark's around"

"Shut your whore mouth Barnes and let me grown man bitch"

Bucky raised an eyebrow, "Grown man bitch?"

"Oh you've never heard of a grown man bitch? Let me enlighten you - it's basically when you're a grown man, and you whine like a little bitch"

Bucky blinked. "... Natasha?"

"Natasha!"

Both Clint and Bucky chuckled and shook their heads, "Natasha"

Grabbing the rest of the tools they needed, Buck and Clint headed to the counter to pay.

It was another teenager, this time a girl.

"Are you Mr. Barton?" The girl asked.

Clint blinked. "Uh... yes?"

The kid laughed, "Gossip travels fast in this town. I learned about you from Matt Ballenger - he's in my Econ class. Also, I'm kin to Turkey Sanders....Though they didn't mention your friend"

Clint hummed, "He came in after my grocery trip. Introduce yourself so the gossip mongers don't go insane"

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Call me James"

The teen smiled, "Okay James. Your total is $207.10"

Clint sighed, "I'm gonna be broke"

"Come on prick, we need to get home"

 

~

Clint set down the last of the wood pieces in the barn and grinned, "What should we create first"

Bucky looked over at Clint's bow, then his target, then back to Clint with a smirk.

Clint winked, "Barnes you beautiful man. That was _just_ what I was thinking"

 

*******

"Phil are you sure this is what you want to do?" Maria said quietly as they traveled to the Avengers tower.

"Yes. I love having my own team... But I need my old one back too"

"Alright, alright"

Phil hummed as the car parked in front of the tower.

Fixing his cuffs once more, Phil exited the vehicle before Maria could say anything else.

Not breaking stride, Phil immediately entered the building before his common sense got the better of him.

"Agent Coulson, is that really you?"

Phil smiled and looked up at the ceiling. "Yes, it's me Jarvis. In the flesh"

"Unbelievable, sir. I'm sure everyone will be delighted to see you"

"I certainly hope so"

The elevator doors opened, and Phil stepped inside, trying his hardest not to twitch with nerves.

The doors opened moments later.

A gun met him at the door.

Keeping calm, Phil raised an eyebrow. "Hello Natasha"

"Who are you?"

"Senior Agent Phillip J. Coulson"

"He's dead"

"My death was greatly exaggerated."

"Yeah right"

"Paris at midnight is a delight for a weary heart"

Natasha's gun lowered fractionally. "...Anyone could have find out our codes"

Phil sighed, "I've been in love with Clint for ten years but never told him"

Natasha snorted and rolled her eyes. "Everybody knew that. Shit, even AIM and Hydra knew that"

"Yes, but how many people knew that Clint and I slept together before he came to SHIELD?"

Natasha lowered the gun completely. "Fury said you were dead"

"Fury lied. This whole time I thought you all knew and just didn't get a chance to come see me"

Natasha put the gun away, "You're stupid if you don't think Clint would have chopped his own arm off to see you. Everyone is gonna flip"

Phil sighed, "Yeah I assume they will"

Natasha paused and looked at Phil with a sad expression. "He's not here"

Phil could pretend he didn't understand, but he did. "Where's Clint?"

"Texas"

"Texas?!"

 

*******

"Look at this beautiful piece of shit" Bucky said as they both glanced at their handiwork.

"Makes me wanna put it on Instagram" Clint said mock weepily, wiping away an imaginary tear.

 "Dork"

"Freak"

"Oh you love me"

Clint rolled his eyes. "Sure, whatever you say buddy boy. Now come on, I gotta go to the courthouse. _Apparently_ there's a couple more pieces of paperwork I need to fill out"

"I'm coming bossy-boots, jeez"

 

~

"Okay Mr. Barton, the house is officially yours!" The clerk said jollily.

Clint smiled, elbowing Bucky in the stomach as the other man glared off into space.

"Come on tin man, let's go"

Bucky grunted and followed Clint out of the building.

"Okay, what's your issue now you big b-oh my god I'm so sorry!"

Clint had run into another man walking into the building, too distracted with Bucky to notice.

Taking a step back, Clint took in the man's outfit and grimaced.

"Well that's one way to meet a police officer"

The man (a very tall man, with a good tan, a great smile, and a goatee) grinned, "Police Chief actually"

Clint groaned, which made Bucky laugh.

"Hey, don't despair. If my wife found out I made a grown man cry just by into me, I'll be in the doghouse for sure" The man stuck his hand out. "Cash Grier. Police Chief of Jacobsville"

Clint shoot the hand. "Frank Barton"

The Chief then tried to offer his hand to Bucky, but Clint was quick to step in. "James isn't a big fan of strangers"

The chief raised an eyebrow, noticed Bucky's metal arm, and nodded. "Understandable... Wasn't too keen on strangers when I moved here myself"

Clint's respect for the chief rose exponentially"

"So... You two fellas new to the are? Well, obviously you are since I know everybody who lives here"

Clint chuckled, "I just moved into the farm house down the road from the Ballenger's place. Bucky's just here to keep me company for a little while"

"Well, you two showed up just in time! The annual fourth of July event is only two days away. We'd love it if you both came and met everybody. It's better to introduce yourselves immediately, otherwise the gossip will just spread."

Clint and Bucky looked at each other, "Yeah... We're beginning to get that. We'll be there"

"Perfect, can't wait to see you both then... Oh, and just a heads up, we don't do fireworks at our events anymore."

Clint nodded, "That's good to know. You have a lot of vets living in Jacobsville?"

"...You could say that. Well, anyway, I gotta go gentlemen. Have to renew the tag on my wife's car"

Clint and Bucky both nodded and waved to the Chief as they headed to Clint's truck.

"Are you sure a party is the best thing for either of us right now?" Bucky asked as they got into the truck.

"It's better than some old granny snooping in our business"

"...shit I guess you're right. But if one of us fucks something up, I'm blaming you"

Clint shook his head, "Everybody always does."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things progress

"This is bullshit"

"Captain do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Shut up Stark"

Phil sighed and rubbed at his forehead. "Look, I'm terribly sorry for your anguish at the thought of my demise. However, my death was _greatly_ exaggerated, and as such, I believe we should all just move on"

"I agree." Natasha said with finality. Which meant everyone should agree, or face her wrath.

Tony just shook his head. "You're telling Pepper"

Phil grimaced. "Done"

"But who's gonna tell Clint?" Bruce asked.

Everyone looked at each other.

"I want it to come from me, but that may bring about some problems... It also may result in a fist to my face" Phil said thoughtfully.

Natasha nodded. "And if it comes from one of us, Clint will freak as well"

"Send him on a rescue mission"

Everyone turned their heads as Fury entered the room.

"Excuse you Captain Liar, but I think I spear for everyone here when I say: Fuck off"

Fury glared at Stark, "I already got the talk of my life from Phil. I don't need your input. But, as I was saying, send Barton on a rescue mission"

Phil raised an eyebrow. "A rescue mission for who?"

Fury smirked. "You"

 

*******

"I feel like an idiot." Bucky muttered as Clint dragged him out of the car.

"That's because you are an idiot"

Bucky glared, "You can be a little more sympathetic"

Clint scoffed, "Who do you think I look like, Steve? You injured yourself doing something incredibly stupid - my only option is to tease you about it until I stop finding it funny"

Bucky's eyes narrowed as he was frog-marched into the doctor's clinic. "One day I'll get you for this"

Clint just laughed and walked to the counter. "Hello, my friend hurt himself doing something dumb. Do you have time to look at him today, or should we wait?"

The girl raised an eyebrow, "The doctors should be free right after lunch... Would you like a Coltrain or a Steele?"

Clint blinked, "Uhm.... I don't know?"

The receptionist looked at Bucky for a moment. "I think a Steele would be good. Can your friend wait until 1 o'clock?"

Clint checked his phone, 1 was only an hour away. "Sure, we'll just get a bite and come back... we're new here, so what do you suggest for lunch?"

The girl smiled. "You can't beat Barbara's. It's right down the street"

"Thanks! See you in an hour - come on Bucky"

 

*******

"This is insane" Phil said later that evening.

Fury rolled his eye and set a beer down in front of Phil. "Cheese. You asked for a fix, so I'm giving you one"

Phil took a sip of the beer and shook his head. "I asked for a fix. Not an insane scheme"

"It'll work"

"I highly doubt that"

"One hundred bucks it does"

Phil narrowed his eyes. "I'm not betting on this"

"So you think I'm right"

"I didn't say that, you asshole."

"Then shut up and take the bet... or are you chicken?"

Phil stared Fury down. "You're a child... But fine..... asshole"

Fury just smirked.

 

*******

"Hello gentlemen. I am Dr. Micah Steele, and I'll be helping you today. What seems to be the problem?"

Clint grinned as Bucky grumbled to the doctor, trying his hardest not to giggle. The man was good, Clint gave him that, he didn't even bash an eyelash at Bucky's predicament.

_Maybe they have a lot of people in here for dumb reasons?_

"Yes, a pulled groin muscles _can_ hurt like a son of a bitch." Dr. Steele said after Bucky finished. "Mind if I take a better look?"

Bucky blanched and looked at Clint.

Clint stood up and patted his shoulder, the flesh one - Bucky still had issues with people touching his metal arm, ever Steve hadn't gotten past that defense.

"Al...right..." Bucky said eventually.

The doctor, sensing Bucky's hesitance, let Bucky do all the work and kept his distance as much as he could. He examined Bucky with gentle hands, and then stepped away. Clint could tell Bucky wasn't too happy about the ordeal, but the doctor's handling definitely relieved some of his tension.

Clint put a lot of respect on a man who could make Bucky relax, even just a little.

"Well it seems pretty standard to me. I'll prescribe a good muscle rub, and some pain pills. I also recommend a hot bath with some Epsom salts at least once a day. Should be all good in not time"

Clint grinned, "Thanks Doc. Sounds perfect"

Bucky nodded his head in agreement.

"Okay gentlemen, you're free to go"

 

~

A week later, and Bucky was back to normal. Or, well, normal for Bucky that is.

"And if you _ever_ tell Stevie I pulled a groin muscle, I _will_ murder you in your sleep." Bucky threatened over breakfast (for the third day in a row).

Clint rolled his eyes, "Jesus Bucky. I'm not gonna tell Steve you pulled a groin muscle. What good would it do me? Steve would have nothing to freak out over, which is where all the fun lies"

Bucky grunted, muttering under his breath in Russian.

"Don't call me a pain in the ass, you're the pain in the ass Barnes" Clint said with a pout.

"Stop acting like a child, we have work to do anyway" Bucky responded with a huff.

"You're only saying that because you didn't realize I understood Russian"

"You can shut your whore mouth Barton"

"Make me"

"Don't think I won't"

"I'll tell Steve!!"

Bucky rolled his eyes, "You can only threaten me with Stevie for so long before I become immune to the threats"

Clint pouted again. "You're no fun"

"And you're a pain in the ass"

 

*******

Phil looked at Fury, "I still think this is a bad idea"

Fury sighed, "Do you want to get back together with your boo-thang or not?"

"I do... Also, never say boo-thang."

"I'll say what I want Cheese"

"You two need to stop arguing so we can get back to planning" Natasha said with a glare.

"Fine" Both men said at once.

"Good. Now, here's what _I_ had in mind...."

 

*******

"I still feel really uncomfortable about doing this." Bucky whispered to Clint as he parked the truck.

"It's just a party, Bucky. You can stand or sit at the edge of the crowd and let me do all the talking. We'll stay for a little bit, let the gossips have their juicy news, and then we can go home"

Bucky frowned. "I still don't like it"

Clint sighed, "Neither do I. But I want to live in this town for awhile, and I feel like the only way to fit in... Is to actually _try_ and fit in. That means going to town gatherings and pretending to have fun... And who knows, maybe they'll have cupcakes. I'm sure you can pack six or seven of those down and be so hyped up on sugar you won't remember to be uncomfortable"

Bucky groaned, "If you ever tell anyone that I get sugar rushes I will-"

"Murder me in my sleep, I know. Now, come on, I think the party is just beginning"

 

~

"Is he okay?"

Clint turned his head and smiled at the woman frowning down at Bucky.

"He's in the middle of a sugar rush. He's trying really hard not to jump around like a two year old. I told you they would have cupcakes Bucky"

Bucky growled at Clint.

The woman laughed, "I see. Well don't worry Mr. Bucky, nobody would care if you started skipping around. I do it all the time" The woman winked. "Besides, if someone makes fun of you - I'll sic my husband on them"

Clint tipped his head, "Who's your husband?"

"The Police Chief"

"Oh! You're the one that would put him in the dog house if he made a grown man cry"

The woman raised an eyebrow, "That _does_ sound like me. So, you've already met Cash?"

Clint nodded, "At the courthouse. I would introduce myself, but I think you already know everything about me"

The woman chuckled. "I do know quite a bit. But I'm guessing you don't know me?"

Clint shook his head, "Should I?"

"Well, I was a model and a movie star...."

Clint shook his head, "You're talking to a pop culture lame brain"

"She's Tippy Moore you moron" Bucky said with a sigh.

Clint shot Bucky a look. "And how do you know who she is?"

Bucky shrugged, "Stevie was catching up, I joined him"

Clint grunted. "Well... It's nice to meet you Mrs. Grier... Or do you still go by Moore?"

Tippy shook her head, "Oh no. I think Cash would have keeled over if I tried to stay a Moore. I'm very much a Grier now. Speaking of Griers, my daughter is about to do something very foolish - so I should run before I get in trouble"

Clint chuckled, "Okay. It was nice talking to you"

Tippy smiled and waved, immediately turning to run towards a little girl holding a garter snake in her hand.

"Man, what in the hell did you move yourself into?" Bucky said as he flopped onto his back.

Clint laughed. "I don't know... But I like it"

Bucky grunted, "Weirdo"

 

*******

Phil looked at May, "I'm handing the team over to you"

"I don't want it"

Phil groaned, "May!"

"No. I fly the plane, that's it"

Phil sighed and rubbed at his forehead, "The team is too important for it to be scrapped. Why can't you run it?"

"Because I don't want the team. Also, it's your team, why are you giving it up?"

"Because it was never the team I wanted. And I got it under falsehoods"

May shook her head, "I fly the plane. Find somebody else, or it'll just have to be scrapped"

Phil groaned again, "You're killing me Melinda"

"Suck it up buttercup."

 

~

"Marcus, you need to find someone else to head the team"

Fury raised an eyebrow, "May didn't want it"

"No."

Fury stuck out a hand, which Phil angrily slapped a twenty down onto.

"Thank you very much Cheese, my wallet thanks you as well. Now, let's talk team leaders..."

 

*******

Clint dragged himself into his bed several hours later with a smile on his face.

The party had been fun, and he had met so many of the locals.

Everyone was so nice and welcoming, it was so different from what Clint was used to.

"I haven't had this much fun since Phil and I went to India..." Clint whispered to himself, closing his eyes as he thought about that mission.

 

~

_It had been two days before the fourth. Clint had already bought his beer and a shitty movie to watch all by his lonesome when Phil told him to suit up._

_Dropping the beer in the trash and the movies in his room, Clint grabbed his go bag and met Phil on the hangar._

_"Where are we going? I wasn't even briefed..."_

_Phil shook his head, "I'll brief you on the way. We don't have much time"_

_Clint frowned, "This is gonna be a shit show, isn't?"_

_Phil hummed and shoved Clint down into a seat._

_Clint raised an eyebrow, but buckled the belt as they took off._

_The two had sat in silence for a couple of hours, before Clint finally couldn't stand it. "Sir... What's the mission?"_

_Phil sighed and rubbed at his hair, mumbling something under his breath._

_"I'm sorry Coulson, I don't speak mumble... What did you say?"_

_"I said we're going to my sister's wedding!" Phil snapped._

_Clint's eyes widened. "Wha-?"_

_Phil sighed again, "I needed a date to my sister's wedding."_

_Clint blinked, "And you chose me? What, was I the only one not busy?"_

_Phil blushed. "Uhm... Not really? I've kinda been talking about you to my family for a long time.... They all assumed we were dating and invited you to the wedding?"_

_Clint tipped his head, "Why didn't you just ask me instead of pretending this was a mission?"_

_"I was... worried.... that you might not want to come"_

_Clint rolled his eyes, "You're a moron. Of course I'll go to your sister's wedding... Where is her wedding by the way?"_

_"India"_

_"India?"_

_Phil nodded. "Her husband to be is from India and wanted the wedding there."_

_Clint hummed, "Okay... But, like, I didn't pack for an Indian wedding"_

_"Don't worry. Our clothes will be provided"_

_"Oh.... good."_

_Phil flashed Clint a smile, which made the archer's heart beat in his chest twice as fast._

_Clint almost admitted out loud that he loved Phil in that moment, but was only just able to keep his mouth closed._

 

_~_

Clint opened his eyes and sighed. 

It had been a beautiful wedding, and Clint and Phil had been so close the entire time. So close Clint had honestly thought Phil had loved him as much as Clint did.

But Phil had never said anything.

Squeezing his eyes tight, Clint rolled his eyes and cuddled a pillow to his chest.

"I love you Phil" He whispered as he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	4. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rescue mission, part one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really short, even though it took like a month for me to write it, oops. I promise the next chapter will be big and will come a lot quicker. I've just been working a lot lately and my writing muse has hella dropped.

Phil winced as the light hit his eyes harshly.

"Jesus, you look good for a dead man.... But you look like shit for an alive man"

Phil blinked, "Clint?"

"Yeah Phil, it's me... and you have a lot of fucking explaining to do"

 

*******

_1 week earlier_

 "So what did you two used to do before you moved to our little town?" Barbara, the owner of Barbara's Diner, asked.

Clint and Bucky looked at each other, before answering. "Security" They both said at once.

Barbara raised an eyebrow, "Security?"

Clint nodded, "We both worked... and technically still work... for Tony Stark. We're just consultants now"

Bucky nodded in agreement.

Barbara grunted, but wisely didn't say anymore on the subject. "Enjoy your pancakes boys"

"Will do!"

Barbara walked away and Bucky looked at Clint. "Stark? Are you insane? I wouldn't work for him, he's crazier than a bag full of cats"

Clint rolled his eyes, "So says the ex-Russian but actually ex-American super soldier"

Bucky stabbed in Clint's direction with his fork, "Oh I fully admit I'm a little out of my head... But Stark's even worse. And people think it's just eccentricity"

Clint shrugged his shoulders. "The perks of being rich I guess"

Bucky snorted, "Some perk."

"Eat your pancakes or I will"

"Touch my pancakes and you'll be the next one to lose an arm Barton"

 

*******

Phil glared at Fury. "This is still an incredibly stupid plan."

Fury rolled his eye, "Stop being a chicken and get into the SUV, Cheese."

Phil grumbled as he climbed into the passenger seat of the vehicle.

The more the plan has been thought out, and the longer it had taken it to be implemented, the more Phil wished he could just tell Clint face-to-face.

"Stop worrying Cheese, everything is gonna be fine."

"Famous last words" Phil muttered.

 

~

Phil glared at Fury, "Everything will be fine, huh????"

Fury sighed. "Stop blaming me - being kidnapped was not in any of my constigency plans"

Phil groaned. "I hate you so much right now"

"Well, at least Barton has a legitimate reason to rescue you now"

"You're not helping" Phil growled.

 

*******

"Did you hand make these?"

Clint looked up at the man admiring the arrows Clint was polishing.

"I did... Why?"

"They're magnificent. I'm more of a gun man myself, but I can appreciate good workmanship when I see it."

Clint smiled. "Thank yoy. My friend and I worked on these, and it's nice to see our hardships being appreciated."

The man grinned and shot out his hand. "Eb Scott. I run the antiterrorism school. You're Clint, correct?"

Clint shook the man's hand. "That would be me. Nice to meet ya"

Scott smiled. "Please to meet you too. But I must admit, I wasn't just happening by. I came here for a purpose"

"Oh?"

"Yes. We're having a huge parade in town this year, and we need all hands on deck to help with the floats. Somebody told me you and your buddy were good with wood, so I was hoping we could mercilessly use your labor for free?"

Clint laughed. "Sure. Bucky and I would love to help"

"Perfect! I'll have my wife Sally send over the information. Thanks so much"

"You're welcome"

Scott smiled and waved, already heading back to his truck.

Clint waved at the man until the truck had disappeared out of sight.

 

*******

Phil grunted as the fist hit him in the gut for the fifth time.

"Tell me what I want to know!" The goon yelled into Phil's face.

Phil just gave him a bland look, "You need a tic tac."

The goon's face went beet red. "Y-you... I'll get you!!"

"Oh no, not get me. I'm so scared" Phil said mono-tonally.

The man punched Phil again, and so the process repeated itself for the sixth time.

 

*******

"Should that child have a hammer?" Bucky muttered under his breath as he held up the wood piece for Clint to screw on.

Clint laughed, "I'm sure that kid was born with a hammer in his hand. You're just freaking because he looks like a young Steve Rogers"

Bucky frowned, "Stevie always hurt himself around hammers"

Clint rolled his eyes and finished screwing on the wood piece. "I'm sure he did.... But speaking of Rogers, when was the last time you called him? I think you're having Stevie withdrawal"

Bucky scowled and punched Clint in the shoulder, "Stop being an ass"

Clint pouted, "Why are you so mean to me?"

Bucky rolled his eyes, "You're a child."

Clint stuck out his tongue, but pulled it back in before Bucky could grab it between his fingertips.

Before he could make another comeback, his phone buzzed in his pocket.

Pulling it out of his pocket, Clint saw he had a new text.

**Unknown number**

**Attach {Image}**

 

Clint frowned and opened the text up. 

The picture was Phil Coulson, beaten and bloody on a concrete floor. Nick Fury was next to him, looking just as bad as Phil.

Panic and rage fought for control in his body. His hand tightened on his phone until he almost thought it was break.

Bucky looked at him in concern, "Barton... What's wrong?"

Clint shoved the phone into his pocket, "Somebody just came back from the grave... and I'm gonna need your help to get him out of trouble"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	5. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part two

"So he's-?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"And we're-"  
  
"Yup"  
  
"And you're-"  
  
"Ohhh yeah."  
  
"Okay, glad that's settled."  
  
Clint grunted. "Touch down in twenty"  
  
Bucky looked back at the two other men on board, nodded, and sat back in his seat.  
  
  
*******  
  
_2 days earlier_  
  
"So you just got a random text and it showed you a picture of your two dead bosses all bloody and kidnapped..."  
  
Clint nodded, "That about sums it up nicely"  
  
Bucky grunted, "So we're... what? Gonna go get the Avengers?"  
  
Clint snorted, "Hell no. This is something we have to deal with on our own. If the people who kidnapped Fury and Ph-Coulson wanted all of the Avengers to know about it, they would have texted them all. And if they had texted them all, Natasha would have told me by now. So, are you in or out?"  
  
Bucky rolled his eyes, "You already put me in before I could get out. Now start planning Merida"  
  
  
  
*******  
  
Phil's head rolled on his shoulders, "How long have we been here?"  
  
Fury looked over at him, "I don't know. How long _have_ we been here?"  
  
Phil sighed. "Five days, six hours, thirty-two minutes, and like 18 seconds? I'm a little iffy on that"  
  
"Damn Cheese, you're going soft on me. Iffy on the seconds? What kind of man did I hire"  
  
Phil rolled his eyes, wincing when it shot pain through his skull. "I wish somebody would hurry up and rescue us, my  back is killing me. I think I'm getting arthritis"  
  
"No you're not. If you have arthritis, that means I have to acknowledge my ulcer, and that means I'm getting too old to do this job"  
  
"Shut up Fury, you're a pain in the ass"  
  
"You love me and you know it"  
  
Phil sighed, "Whatever you say"  
  
  
  
*******  
  
"Okay, I've locked down a location on Fury and Coulson" Clint said as he barged into Bucky's room.  
  
Bucky groaned and looked up at Clint, "It's 6 in the fucking morning Barton."  
  
Clint rolled his eyes, "I know what time it is Barnes. I've locked down a location"  
  
Bucky grunted and rolled over, pulling the covers over his head. "Lock down the location for a little longer, I need my beauty sleep"  
  
"That would require you to actually have beauty to sleep for. Wake up Barnes, if my information is correct we can steal a jet and find them in no time. Hell, we may even be home by supper tonight"  
  
Bucky sighed and slowly rose out of the bed, "Fine. Asshole. But I'm only getting out of bed because I know you will just keep annoying me if I don't"  
  
Clint grinned, "You know me better than my own mama"  
  
"Get out of my room Barton, I need to get dressed"  
  
"Sure, sure. All black please"  
  
"Don't tell me what to do"  
  
Clint chuckled and escaped the room before Barnes could throw something at him.  
  
  
~  
  
"Okay before we discuss anything, where's the coffee?" Bucky grumbled minutes later as he entered the kitchen.  
  
Clint took a gulp of his own beverage, "Your pot is already ready to go"  
  
Bucky headed to his coffee pot, "Still don't know why you bought two. Oh wait, I do. It's because you're a barbarian"  
  
Clint lifted his coffee-pot and saluted Bucky before taking another sip.  
  
"Heathen" Bucky hissed as he poured his into a mug, carefully adding his sugar and cream.  
  
"And you're too dainty. Who needs sugar and cream? That takes away all of the caffeine"  
  
"No it doesn't, who told you that?"  
  
"The bible."  
  
Bucky rolled his eyes, "You're so full of it. But we already knew that, let's get down to business.

Clint nodded and set down the pot, "It's all set up in the den"

Bucky narrowed his eyes, "Tell me you didn't..."

 

~

Bucky groaned, "You did"

Clint looked up at him with a wounded expression, "What's wrong with it?"

"You've used yarn to connect the points like some crackpot dumbass detective off of the TV"

Clint pouted, "I'll have you know I have come up with three leads with this method!"

Bucky grunted, "I doubt that... But go ahead and tell me what you've got"

Clint pouted harder, but explained to Bucky his leads.

"The first two are absolute shit ideas, but I'm almost positive you're right on the third"

Clint smirked, "Yeah. I agree. The first two were false leads, but when dumb kidnappers are around - who knows?"

Bucky rolled his eyes, "So what's your plan of attack?"

Clint lifted a pot of coffee (Bucky was pretty sure if was cold, old, and had been there for a couple of days) and took a sip of the liquid with dead eyes. "Attack"

Bucky nodded, sounded like a plan to him.

 

*******

"Pssst, Cheese... Cheese... CHEESE!"

Phil jerked awake, "Who? What? When?"

Fury snorted, "Big bad ass secret agent can't even stay alert after torture. Why did I hire you?"

Phil looked at him dazedly, "Because I had blackmail pictures of you dressed in a tutu?"

"Oh yeah, that makes sense"

Phil shook his head, trying to clear the fog. "Why were you calling me?"

Fury rolled his eye, "Do you not hear that?"

"Hear what?"

Fury waited a moment as Phil struggled to pinpoint any peculiar noises.

It took a second, but finally Phil was able to hear what sounded like banging coming from the vents.

"Either the ceiling is about or collapse, or your boy is here to save you" Fury said with a grin.

Phil prayed it wasn't the ceiling.

 

*******

Clint cursed under his breath as his knees slammed into the side of the vent again.

"Jesus Christ, didn't you use to go through these things for a living?!" Bucky hissed at him.

"Shut up Barnes, these are tighter than I'm used to!!"

"Or you're fatter than you're used to" Bucky muttered to himself, which Clint ignored.

Continuing his crawl, Clint periodically peered through the vent slats, trying to pinpoint where he believed Phil and Fury were located.

"Hey, two o'clock" Bucky hissed almost ten minutes later.

Clint jerked his head to his two o'clock, and lo and behold, some guards standing in front of a door.

"Oooo, very scary. Fucking dumbasses" Clint said with a sigh.

"If they're so dumb, this should be pretty easy." Bucky said with a hum.

"Let's hope so" Clint said as he kicked out the vent, swinging his body out and down.

_Bang, bang, bang_

The guards went down.

"We have three coming up on our six. Better get the guys out quick" Bucky shouted as Clint burst open the door.

 

*******

Phil winced as the light hit his eyes harshly.

"Jesus, you look good for a dead man.... But you look like shit for an alive man"

Phil blinked, "Clint?"

"Yeah Phil, it's me... and you have a lot of fucking explaining to do"

 

*******

Clint was furious at Phil and Fury, but knew they were limited on time.

"I'm holding them off, but more coming!" Bucky shouted as gun shots went off.

Clint slipped his arms under Phil, and then Fury, lifting them to their feet.

"Switch places!" Clint shouted, already pulling out his gun.

"He doesn't have his bow?" Clint heard Phil mutter as he slid out of the room, already taking aim at the bad guys.

"Wouldn't fit in the vents" Bucky said with a chuckle as he got the two older men out of the room.

Clint rolled his eyes and shot at the men, his free arm wrapping around Phil's waist.

Bucky did the same for Fury, and the four made their way out of the building.

"Barnes... Barton... If you ever tell anyone you had to rescue both of us I'll-" Fury said as they hit outside.

"Kills us slowly?" Both Bucky and Clint said as they shoved the walking wounded into their get-away car.

"Yes!" Fury snapped back.

Bucky and Clint looked at each other, rolled their eyes, and jumped into the front seats.

"Clint?" Phil said quietly.

"Not now," Clint said with a sigh. "Let's get safe first"

Clint couldn't see Phil nod, but he knew the man did so.

Rubbing at his forehead, Clint wished that he was back at the farm.

 

*******

Phil laid his head back against the side of the vehicle, waiting for the pain in his head to diminish. He was also waiting for the car to stop so he and Clint could talk.... If Clint wanted to talk.

God he hoped Clint wanted to talk.

Phil closed his eyes and felt the motion of the car as it went down the road. His head was slowly killing him, but he still felt sleep come upon him.

Within one to second to the next, Phil was asleep.

 

*******

Clint rubbed at his forehead when Bucky pulled up at a run-down motel.

"This okay?" Bucky asked quietly.

Clint nodded, "Nobody's be on our tail - this is as good a place to hide out for awhile as any other sleazy motel"

Bucky nodded in return. "Okay... You wanna go in and get the rooms, or have me do it?"

Clint thought about it for a moment. "I'll get the rooms. You wake the bosses up"

Bucky raised an eyebrow, "Still angry at your man?"

Clint grunted. "Damn straight... And he's not my man!"

Bucky rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath. "He's a good as"

 

*******  
Phil jerked awake for what had to be at least the sixth time that day when he heard the door to the car open. Blinking awake, Phil looked around, trying to get a good bearing on his surroundings.

"Rise and shine boys - we have some rooms to get in to. You know, before the boogie man comes to get us" Phil heard a voice say from the open car door.

Phil looked over and spotted the Winter Soldier standing in front of him. His inner Captain America nerd wanted to fanboy at the mere thought of meeting Bucky Barnes - but the Agent Coulson in him nipped that in the bud.

"Mr. Barnes." He said calmly.

Bucky grinned. "Agent Agent"

Phil groaned, he was gonna kill Tony Stark.

"Ok, now that that awkwardness is over - can we go inside?" Fury asked as he climbed out the other side door.

Phil and Bucky both rolled their eyes and followed suit.

Clint exited the lobby (if you could call the dingy room where an old man was taking a nap at the front desk a lobby) just as Bucky was locking up the car.

"Two rooms, both bottom floor." Clint said, handing Bucky one of keys.

Phil hoped Clint wouldn't trey and paid him with Bucky - they really did need to talk.

"Fury and I will take this room, byyeeeee" Bucky said as he walked away with Fury.

"No wait - Bucky!!" Clint shouted at their retreating backs, making Phil smile in spite of himself.

Phil turned to Clint. "You ready to talk... roomie?"

 

*******

Clint sighed and rubbed at the back of his neck. "Yeah... Yeah, let's get this over with."

Clint grabbed Phil under his shoulders, not thinking about how the man could handle himself (or that he was furious with him), and led him to their room.

"You know I can walk... right?" Phil asked in amusement.

"Clint glared at him. "Hush"

Unlocking their door, Clint dragged them both inside before Phil could even choke out a chuckle. Dropping Phil onto the bed, Clint took a few steps back so they were looking at each other. _This used to be so easy...._

Feeling nervous now that they were alone, Clint began to pace back-and-forth.

"Are you hungry? I'm hungry. I wonder if Bucky and Fury are hungry? Maybe I should go out and get some food.... Why are you looking at me like that?"

Phil was looking up at him with a goofy smile.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked again.

Phil shook his head, "I've missed this.. I've missed _you"_

 

 

*******

Phil didn't think his words would cause Clint to cry. Rising to his feet, Phil wrapped Clint in his arms. "Hey, hey, hey.... Why are you crying?"

Clint shoved his face into Phil's shoulders, making Phil's heart ache.

"You were dead!" Clint cried out. "Dead for so long..."

Phil grimaced. "My death was greatly exaggerated."

"Dead is dead... and you didn't come to m-us!" Clint accused, pulling back from Phil.

Phil missed the warmth around his body when Clint back away, but knew that they needed to have this conversation.... Badly. Sighing, Phil took on his 'Agent Coulson' stance and squared off against the other man. "There were reasons for that."

Clint glared at him. "What possible fucking reason could there be for you faking your death for so long? Were you in danger? Did your being alive put us in danger?"

Phil grimaced and shook his head. "No"

"Were you in the hospital all this time?"

Phil shook his head once more.

"Then what the fuck excuse is there Phil?" Clint practically shouted at him.

Phil sighed and sat down on the bed, the energy he had built up during his 'nap' drained from his body. "I... Fury... Well..." Phil rubbed at his forehead, the pain returning once more.

"You gonna elaborate?"

Phil sighed again, deeper this time. "I thought you all knew and never wanted to see me"

 

*******

Clint blinked, 'What?"

That explanation made little to absolutely no sense.

Phil looked down at the floor hesitantly. That sparked off major alarm bells in Clint's head, since Senior Agent Phillip J. Coulson wasn't hesitant about anything... Ever.

"Phil?" Clint prodded.

"I thought you all had moved on." Phil said quietly. "All to busy being Avengers to come back to see me or work on my team. I didn't know the truth until recently"

"Clint's mouth dropped open during Phil's mini-monologue. He couldn't really focus on everything, so his brain picked the one that made the least sense that moment. "Team?"

Phil nodded, "A new strike team."

Clint's face melted, "the team you always wanted"

Phil smiled wearily, "Not exactly. The team I always wanted included you and Nat"

Clint blinked, "Oh."

Phil gave him a tired look, making Clint feel bad (even though he knew he should still be furious at being lied to). Though, should Clint really be mad at Phil? Phil hadn't lied to him, it had been Fury.

_Fury you sick son of a bitch._

Making a decision, Clint sat down next to Phil. "I'm still mad"

Phil's shoulders slumped.

"I'm not mad at you though..."

Phil looked at him, hope faint in his eyes.

Clint sighed, "I'm not even sure I can be fully angry at Fury. Fury never does anything maliciously, not even to the WCC - even though the bastards deserve. I guess... I guess I/m just mad at the situation"

Phil nodded his head. "I understand."

Clint looked at him and winced, "You probably understand more than others would. You thought we had abandoned you. In some ways, that's worse than being dead."

Phil nodded slowly, and Clint's heart broke as he thought about how lonely Phil must have been.

"I'm still angry myself.... But maybe we can work on our anger together?"

Clint pursed his lips, thinking for a moment.

"...Clint?"

Clint smiled at Phil, "I'd like that."

Phil let out a breath of relief, "Me too."

 

*******

Phil woke up late in the night, and for the life of him, could not fall back asleep.

Sighing heavily, Phil did what he used to do in this situation.... Turn on his side and creepily watch Clint sleep. It was the one thing he ever felt guilty over (well, and his unrequited love for the other man), but that never stopped him from doing it.

This time, however, Phil got the shock of his life when he noticed Clint watching him.

The other man blushed and tried to quickly close his eyes, but Phil wasn't going to have it. Not tonight.

Pressing his palm against Clint's cheek, Phil waited until the other man opened his eyes once more. "You were watching me." Not a question.

Clint's blush deepened. "I used to do it all the time" The younger man blurted out.

Phil's eyes widened, "Y-you did?"

Clint went an even deeper shade of red, which Phil didn't think was possible. "Yes.... Not that that should effect anything between us. I mean, I wasn't trying to creep on you, I just like watching you sleep... I m-mean.. This hasn't nothing to do with us sleeping together before I started at SHIELD... I mean... Shit, fuck, uhm..."

Phil didn't stop to think about the consequences of his actions, he just pressed his lips against Clint's.

The passion exploded between them, and it was like they had never stopped being lovers.

Phil pulled away minutes later and flopped onto his back, his breathing labored.

"Jesus" Clint muttered, in the same boat as Phil.

Phil could only nod in agreement.

"So.... Is this a one time thing, or can I admit I love you finally?" Clint said after a moment.

Gasping, Phil shot up in the bed and looked down at Clint. "You love me?"

Clint bit his lip but nodded.

Phil smiled, "I love you too..."

Clint's eyes went wide. "You do?"

Phil nodded.

Clint smiled and grabbed Phil by the collar and pulled him back down for a kiss.


	6. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil sees the farm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Quick update, but a short one.

"I am completely healed Dr. Scorcasian, there is no need for you to continue to monitor me" Phil said with a huff.

The Doctor sighed (as he did every time Phil had tried this for the last three days), "Agent Coulson. Your bullet wound is still infected. You're worse than Barton, I swear"

"Hey! Why do you medical folks always pick on me?" Clint said with a pout as he entered the room.

Dr. Scorcasian just raised an eyebrow, "With your track record? Really Barton?"

Clint pouted even harder and looked at Phil, "He's being mean to me"

Phil gave Clint a droll look, "Me too."

 

*******

"Two months vacation. My last offer Cheese" Fury said as he leaned back in his chair.

Phil raised an eyebrow, "And how long are you taking?"

Fury waved a hand, "I'm the boss. I don't have to take a vacation"

Phil rolled his eyes, "For a dead man, you're going really hard'

Fury looked back at him, "And you're any different?"

"Shut up."

Fury laughed, "Two months Cheese. Maybe your boy will take you to his hidey-hole"

Phil smiled, "He did offer."

"Take him up on it Cheese, for fuck's sake. It's taken too long for you to get together as it is"

Phil chuckled, "Paid time off with a sexy semi-retired archer on a farm? Sounds like heaven"

Fury sighed, "Leave"

 

*******

Clint and Bucky carefully guided Phil up the steps of the farm.

"Why am I blindfolded again?"

Clint and Bucky looked at each other.

"Aesthetic" They both said at once.

"Aest-no, why would I even bother to ask. I don't need an answer."

Clint chuckled and kissed Phil on the cheek, "I love when you don't ask questions."

Phil raised an eyebrow, "Is that the only thing you love about me?"

"No, I definitely love the way you-"

"TMI! TMI! TMI!" Bucky screeched, letting go of Phil to cover his ears.

"I was gonna say I loved the way he did paperwork you perv"

Phil snorted, " _Sure_ you were"

Clint pouted, not that Phil could see it. "Maybe I was gonna"

"Mmm, I'll believe it when I hear it" Phil said cheekily. "Can I take the blind-fold off yet?"

"Oh shit, yeah. Go ahead"

Phil ripped the blind-fold off, and Clint couldn't help but smile at the man's expression.

"This is exactly how I thought it would be." Phil breathed out.

Clint blushed, "I remembered the conversation we had.... I searched every where for it"

Phil gripped Clint's hand and smiled. "I love you"

Clint grinned, "Love you too"

Bucky looked between the two men, "I'm sorry what?"

 

~

_"Are we gonna die?" Clint asked drowsily._

_Phil looked at him, just as drowsy, "Do we ever?"_

_Clint hummed, "Shit... You're right. Why's this taking so long?"_

_Phil rolled his eyes (or he tried to, he might have just moved them right-to-left), "It takes a bit of time to rescue two undercover agents Barton."_

_Clint hummed, "Still. It's been like forever.... Hey! When you retire, where do you wanna live?"_

_Phil looked at him, "Barton are you concussed?"_

_"Yes. But you should still answer the question"_

_Phil sighed, "I don't think either of us will live to retirement"_

_" **Phil** this is a **fantasy.**_ _Indulge me."_

_Phil sighed again, deeper this time. "A farm."_

_"Farm?"_

_"Yes. I always wanted to live on a farm. A nice, slightly run-down farm in the middle of nowhere. Has a huge barn in the back, and lots of acreage for whatever I want."_

_Clint hummed, "That sounds... nice. I lived on a farm once"_

_"Did you?"_

_Clint nodded, "Hated the people I lived with though"_

_Phil hummed, "Well. Maybe when we retire it'll be different"_

_Clint grunted, "Hopefully."_

_Phil closed his eyes and lent his head back against the wall. "Clint?"_

_"Hmm?"_

_"You ever tell anyone I want a farm I will send you to our Antartica HQ for the next three years"_

_"...You got a damn deal boss"_

 

~

"....Wooooooow"

"Shut up Barnes, like your stories with Steve are any better"

" _Woooooooow"_

Phil chuckled and wrapped his arm around Clint's waist. "Stop arguing you two, you're both pretty"

Clint looked up at him and pouted, "But I'm the prettiest right?"

Phil smiled and kissed Clint's cheek, "The prettiest"

"Ew. Dorks." Bucky said before disappearing into the house.

Clint wiggled his eyebrows, "Now that he's gone..."

"We're not christening your bedroom you heathen" Phil said with a laugh as he walked deeper into the house.

"Awwww Phil, no."

Phil chuckled and pulled Clint after him.

 

*******

 Phil was drinking his coffee on the porch early the next morning. The sun was just rising in the sky, and there was a slight breeze brushing against the leaves in the trees.

It was great, just what Phil wanted in a vacation.

Having Clint Barton in his bed was the icing on the damn cake.

"You make coffee for anyone else?"

Phil turned around and smiled at Bucky. "Made coffee in both pots. The purple one _is_ Clint's right?"

Bucky snorted, "What gave you the first clue?"

Phil chuckled and took another sip, "The 'I <3 Hawkeye' sticker on the back"

Bucky rolled his eyes, "He's such a nerd."

Phil laughed. "I can't argue with that logic"

"DID SOMEBODY SAY DRACO MALFOY?"

Phil's eyebrows rose as Clint rolled onto the porch. The man then groaned and flopped onto the floor. "Shit, I'm old."

"Shit, you're stupid." Bucky responded back.

Clint pouted, "Why are you so mean to me?"

Bucky shook his head, "Get up asshole. Phil made us coffee"

Clint gasped and shot to his feet. "My hero!"

Phil smiled as Clint pressed a kiss to his cheek and ran back inside. Bucky sighed at the other man, then followed him inside. Phil faintly heard them arguing inside over Clint's use of his coffee-pot, which made Phil smile. Closing his eyes, Phil listened for the sound of footsteps, knowing both of the boys would be back to join him on the porch. With a morning like this, who wouldn't want to watch? In their line of work, it wasn't often any of them were truly allowed to relax. So, this was nice.

Phil opened his eyes when he felt Clint slide into his lap. Phil wrapped his arms around Clint's waist, pulling the archer into his chest. Phil honestly couldn't believe how affectionate Clint was with him. Phil hadn't expected any of the things that had happened between him and Clint to be honest. But he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Not when he was finally getting everything he had ever wanted.

"You okay?" Clint asked quietly.

"Yeah"

"Cool"

Phil grinned and looked back out at the sky; taking a sip of his coffee, he knew that everything was gonna be okay.

 

 


	7. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil meets an old friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Whoops this took a long time

Phil looked down at his hand clasped within Clint's, "You sure this is gonna be okay?"

Clint smiled, "They're very tolerant here Phil. And even if they weren't, I wouldn't care."

Phil blushed, "Okay. Good to know...."

"You two are gross"

"Shut up Bucky, I had to hear you coo at Stevie for two hours on Skype once."

"...Shut your whore mouth Barton"

Phil sighed, "Sometimes I feel like I'm back on Strike Team Delta."

Clint grinned and turned the truck onto the road into Jacobsville. "Natasha and I never bickered this much Phil"

"No. You two just fought.... Literally."

Clint sighed happily, "Good times."

Bucky shook his head, "Weird."

Clint opened his mouth, but Phil's hand stopped him from saying anything. Clint pouted under the hand, but didn't try to lick him or anything (which Phil counted as a win).

 

~

"And that's the post office, and that's the police station, and that's the-"

"Oh you-who!! Mr. Barton!!! Mr. James!!"

Phil watched in amusement as the two men froze in their spots, Their shoulders were hunched, and their skin had become ashen.

"Boys!!!" The voice called again.

All three men turned around and noticed an older woman hurrying towards them.

"Friend of yours?" Phil said with a smirk.

"Shut up" They both hissed as the woman caught up to them.

"I'm _so_ glad I noticed you both! Who's your little friend? Oh, never mind that for now, I have a favor to ask of you both."

Clint winced, "And what would that be Mrs. Higgins?"

The woman smiled and placed her hand on Clint's arm, giving it a squeeze. "Margie, please. You both _have_ been living here in our little county long enough to call me by my Christian name."

"Uh..right. The favor?" Bucky continued, watching warily as the woman continued to fondle Clint's bicep.

"Oh! Of course. I need two strapping young men, such as yourselves, to help me in my garden this weekend. I'm having a dinner party, and my garden is a _disaster._ I'm sure you two boys, plus your friend here if he has the time, wouldn't mind helping an old woman?"

Phil tried hard not to let his giggle out as Clint and Phil shot each other a look.

"I'm sure we'll have the time to help you Mrs-Margie. All three of us." Clint said after a moment.

"Wonderful! I'll see you all on Saturday at 9 AM sharp. Ta-ta" Mrs. Higgins gave them a little wave and headed back in the opposite direction.

Phil held in his laughter until she well out of hearing range.

"Shut up Phil" Both men said as they watched Phil almost collapse in giggles.

Phil wiped a tear away as he stood back up straight. "I should have filmed that, I really should have. My god, that was hilarious"

Clint pouted, "Phil" he whined.

Phil grinned and pressed a kiss to Clint's lips. "You're too cute"

Bucky groaned, "You two are disgusting. I'm going to Barbara's..."

Phil tilted his head, "Barbara's?"

Clint smirked, "Barbara's."

 

*******

 Phil moaned, "This is the greatest apple pie I have ever tasted"

Clint laughed, "I told you this was good eating. Beats all the diners we used to go to after... business trips... out of the water"

 Phil nodded, "You've got that right."

Bucky looked at the two of them, "How many dingy diners have y'all been to?"

"Too many to count."

Bucky crinkled his nose, "Gross."

Clint rolled his eyes, "You're just a food snob. I'm surprised Barbara's appeals to you"

Bucky rolled his eyes (a mockery of Clint's previous one). "Shut up Barton."

Phil shook his head, "You two argue worse than an old married couple."

"Yeah, what the hell Barton. You should be saving all those arguments for Phil, here. You two are the married couple."

"I could say the same thing about you and Stevie you old coot"

"Boys, boys. You're both pretty, stop arguing in front of your guest" Barbara scolded as she came to the table. 

Phil's eyebrows raise as both men had the decency to blush as mumble apologies.

Barbara just laughed. "Good to see you two are already under my thumb. I'm sure your companion will be doing the same by the end of the week"

Phil scooped up his last piece of pie. "If I keep eating food like this, you can bet on it!"

 

*******

Clint grabbed Phil's hand in his own as they headed out of the cafe. Bucky was at their back as they walked down the street and over to Clint's truck (totally third wheeling, not that any of them would mention it).

Clint was unlocking the vehicle when the Police Chief of their small town came rolling up beside them.

"Hey boys!" Cash called out as he climbed out of his vehicle.

"Hello! You grabbing some food?" Clint asked the older man.

Cash smiled, "You bet. Tippy and the kids are eating lunch at the station today, and I promised I would go to Barbara's."

Clint nodded, "Sounds like fun."

The chief nodded, "Who's your friend? I'm shocked the gossip about him hasn't already traveled to my desk"

Clint chuckled, "This is my boyfriend, Phil. He's been in New York working, but is taking a long deserved two month vacation"

Phil raised his hand and waved at the police chief, but froze in place.

"Cash?"

Cash's eyes grew wide. "Cheese!"

Clint and Bucky looked at each other and mouthed 'Cheese?'

 

*******

Phil grinned and walked over to the man, hand outstretched. "How the hell are you?!"

Cash shook Phil's hand. "Wonderful! Got a wife, two kids, a young brother-in-law, and a whole town to look after. How have you been?"

Phil hummed, "Same as always. Finally getting a break."

Cash laughed, "I'm surprised you're able to take a break Cheese. You were always one of the hardest workers"

Phil sighed, "That still hasn't changed, I'm afraid. But at least I'm getting better pay for it"

"Ain't that the truth... You ever hear from the rest of the gang?"

Phil nodded, "Mostly from Marcus though."

"Marcus? How _is_ that old timer?"

"Still ticking"

Cash chuckled, "Still a little shit?"

"The biggest"

"Doesn't surprise me. But it's so good to see you again! You three should come over to the house sometime, I'm sure the gang would love to meet you"

Phil looked back at Bucky and Clint, raising an eyebrow.

Bucky and Clint looked at each other, back at Phil, and then back to each other - their jaws slightly open in shock.

Phil smirked and turned back to Cash, "We'd love to."

Cash grinned back, "How about Friday?"

"Sounds good, needs us to bring anything?"

"Your spinach artichoke dip. Don't tell my wife, but it's the best damn thing I have ever eaten in my entire life"

Phil laughed and smacked Cash on the shoulder, "Done. Seen you Friday"

Cash waved at the trio and walked into Barbara's cafe.

Bucky and Clint waited precisely three minutes before speaking.

"What. The. Fuck?????"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	8. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a flashback.  
> Bitches love flashbacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hold no remorse for my chapter description

_"Are you sure you want to use **me** sir?" Phillip asked the older man._

_The man in question gave Phil a snort. "Stop with the modest bullshit Coulson, I know you Sargent. I believe you're one of the best fits for the team I'm creating. I already have everyone else on board, are you in or out?"_

_Phil thought about it for a moment, then smirked. "I'm in....Sir."_

 

_~_

_Phil was at the air base at 0300 hours the next morning. He wished he could say that he was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed...But that was so fucking far from the truth it wasn't even funny._

_Phil had never been a morning person, and he suspected he never will be one. He just knew how to fake it (and fake it well)._

_"Morning men!" The Colonel called out as he stepped out of the shadows (like a damn ghost. Phil had to remember that move.)_

_"Morning sir!" They all called back to him._

_"At ease. At ease. I don't want soldiers in this unit. I want free-thinking men... Are you all free-thinking men?"_

_"Yes" The men said back to the colonel._

_"Good. Good! Now, let's begin, shall we?"_

_Phil and the rest of the men followed behind the Colonel as he led them over to a huge jet._

_"File in, I'll cue you all in on our way to the site"_

_The men trotted into the jet and strapped in immediately._

_"Alright, let's get this show on the road!" The Colonel called out to the pilot._

_Phil leaned back against his seat and closed his eyes. He felt deep down in his bones this was going to be a long ass flight._

_"Psst, hey"_

_Phil opened his eyes._

_"PsSSSttt"_

_Phil looked over at the other guys._

_They were all looking at the man at the end of their row. He was a tall man, much taller than anyone else in their unit. Raven black hair, and a disarming smile, the man just looked like mischief personified._

_"Cash Grier. Who are y'all?"_

_Each man introduced themselves in a quiet tone so the Colonel didn't hear them talking. As much as the older man had said he wanted free-thinkers, none of them wanted to test that too hard without knowing their boundaries just yet._

_After the introductions, each man leaned back in his seat, pretending like the introductions had never happened to begin with._

 

_~_

_Their first mission was hard, the second harder, the third was the hardest, and by the forth they had become a brotherhood._

_It was real hard not to bond with the men in Phil's unit, they were all a great bunch of guys. The Colonel was a bit of a hard ass, but even he could let loose given the right occasion._

_"Cheese!" Phil rolled his eyes and turned towards Grier._

_'You rang?"_

_"Did you hear the news yet?"_

_Phil raised an eyebrow, "What news?"_

_"The Colonel got a promotion! We're getting a new team leader"_

_Phil blinked, "Wait, really?"_

_Grier nodded. "Yeah, it's some crackpot named Marcus Johnson. I'm not actually sure what his title is though..."_

_Phil blinked again. "You don't know a tidbit of gossip? This guy must be the next Messiah"_

_Grier punched him in the arm, "You're such a sack of shit Cheese."_

_Phil laughed, "You say this like I don't already know that"_

_"Oh I know you know. But sometimes I like to hear myself talk, you know? Who else is gonna enjoy this sexiness besides me?"_

_Phil sighed, "Your ego is the size of Texas, Grier."_

_"Thanks buddy, love you too."_

_"Shut up and let me get back to my guns. I haven't polished them in weeks"_

_"Sure, sure. I'll just be on my way"_

_"Good **bye** Grier"_

_Grier laughed and waved a hand at Phil as he left the vicinity to go do God knows what._

 

_~_

_Phil and the rest of the team stood at parade rest, awaiting their new team leader._

_"Relax gentlemen, I won't bite.... Hard." A voice said from behind them._

_Phil carefully didn't flinch, but slowly turned his head around._

_"I saw that" The man, Marcus Johnson if Phil's hunch was correct, said with a smirk as he strolled through._

_"Saw what sir?" Phil dared to ask._

_"How carefully you **didn't**_ _flinch. Gotta be more careful next time-?"  
_

_"Coulson. Sargeant Phillip J. Coulson"_

_"Right Coulson.... They call you Cheese, don't they?"_

_Phil groaned as everyone else began to quietly snicker. "Unfortunately"_

_Johnson smirked. "I can work with that..... Anyone else gonna introduce themselves?"_

_"Sargeant Cash Grier, sir."_

_The older man looked over at Cash, "Heard about you too. Actually, I've heard a lot about all of you. And I know you've heard nothing about me. I like it like that, ya dig?"_

_"Yessir"_

_"Good. Now, let's see what you guys got"_

_Phil and the guys jogged over to the training field and began to run their drills._

 

_~_

_They were sweating by the end of it._

_They all looked expectantly at Johnson._

_The man shrugged his shoulders. "That was... adequate"_

_"Adequate?!" One voice shouted out, though Phil wasn't sure which one._

_"Did I stutter? Because I believe at the time I was speaking clear. Adequate."_

_"With all due respect sir, why was it only adequate?" Grier asked after a moment._

_Johnson smiled, "Now we're getting to the real questions. Let me teach you how the real boys play"_

 

_~_

_Johnson trained them harder than they had ever been trained._

_When ever they thought they had reached their peak, Johnson pushed them to go higher._

_Until one day he told them they were ready._

_"Ready for what?" Phil asked when they boarded the jet._

_Johnson smirked, "A shit show"_

 

_*******_

"Oh wait! I know the rest of this story!!!!"

Phil raised an eyebrow, "Oh you do, do you? Please. Enlighten us"

Clint rolled his eyes, "Well I won't go into great detail. But the gist of the story is that y'all kicked ass even though you were all half dead/"

Cash looked over at his wife, who was trying very hard not to laugh. "Well, I mean, he's not wrong..."

Tippy giggled, "And he put it so eloquently too!"

Bucky snorted, "That's Clint alright. Mr. Eloquent"

Clint punched Bucky on the shoulder, "You're no better than me robo-cop"

Phil sighed, "I got out of the army to become a babysitter"

Cash shook his head and raised his beer bottle. "Some days I feel the exact same way"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is such shit, I apologize


	9. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The town meets Natasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: WHOOPS THIS WAS WAY LONGER THAN A MONTH

Clint was shocked at how well their merchandise had sold.

"Remind me that we need more stock for next time." Clint murmured to Bucky as a gangly teenager walked away with the last of their arrows.

Bucky smirked, "And you were the one that didn't want to see our wares at the cattle sale."

Clint rolled his eyes. "You've had one good idea so fair, big deal."

"Excuse you. I'll have you know all of my ideas are _great."_

"Great what? Great disasters?"

"Boys, boys. Stop fighting, you're both pretty" A sultry, amused voice said from behind them.

Both men whirled around, "Natasha!"

Natasha smiled at them. "Hello you two."

Clint grinned and wrapped her up in a bear hug, Bucky following his example a minute later. "What are you doing here?" Clint asked.

Natasha crossed her arms over her chest. "Just needed a break. Thought the wilds of Texas was just the thing."

Clint narrowed his eyes. "No really, what are you doing here?"

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Checking up on you and Phil."

Bucky snorted, "Those love birds? If I have to see them kiss one more time I think I'm going to vomit"

Clint pouted, "Why are you so mean to me? Is it because you miss Steve? I told you I found a Captain America body pillow if you-"

Bucky clamped a hand over Clint's mouth. "Speak another word and you die."

Clint grinned and licked Bucky's hand, causing the man to drop it in disgust. "You're a heathen"

Clint winked, "Thank you."

Natasha sighed fondly. "I can't believe I've missed you two. Now, before you start arguing again, show me around."

Both Clint and Bucky offered her an elbow.

Natasha smiled and took what was offered to her. "Where's Phil?"

"Police station. He and the Police Chief are old army buddies."

Natasha nodded, "Sounds interesting"

Bucky nodded, "It is. We've learned a hell of a lot about the both of them when they get talking. Kind of makes me want to bring Fury down into the discussion. Wonder what secrets we can get out of him while he's gossiping?"

Natasha chuckled, "Now that sounds like a great evening"

Clint snorted, "We'd have to get him drunk first..... Wait, do robots get drunk?"

Bucky shrugged, "I don't know. But I really want to find out.... Wait did you say robot? Is Fury really a robot or were you just joking?"

Clint smirked, "That's for me to know.... and for you to never find out."

Bucky looked at Natasha, who winked. "Dammit, Fury's a robot"

Natasha and Clint looked at each other, before bursting out in laughter.

"Nah, I'm just fucking with you Bucky.... At least, I hope I am. With Fury you never know"

Bucky sighed, "I think life was simpler before I met the Avengers"

Natasha smiled and butted her head against Bucky's shoulder. "You love us all and you know it"

"God help me"

 

*******

Phil was already at home when the three of them arrived after Natasha's tour.

"Natasha! What a surprise! You coming in to check that I'm not hurting Clint?"

Natasha smiled and pressed a kiss to Phil's cheek. "And to make sure he wasn't hurting you. Years of UST can't be broken in one evening"

"No, but the bed can"

Bucky made a gagging noise. "Barton, shut the fuck up before I barf."

Clint grinned and winked at Phil. Phil just rolled his eyes fondly and went back into the kitchen. "You came at the right time Natasha. I'm making Grandma Coulson's five cheese macaroni and cheese"

Natasha's eyes twinkled. "Grandma Coulson's Mac and Cheese? You know the way to a woman's heart."

Bucky frowned. "Mac and cheese? What's so special about that?"

"Only that it's the _best_ mac and cheese! Trust me Buck, it's an orgasm in your mouth."

Bucky looked over at Phil, who shrugged. "I mean, he's not wrong."

Bucky sighed. "A foodgasm for dinner it is then."

 

*******

"So how long are you here for?" Phil asked Natasha as they cleaned up from dinner.

"Two weeks."

Phil nodded. "Who pissed you off this time, to take off that long a break?"

Natasha smirked at Phil (who knew immediately that she would never tell him in this lifetime. Which meant it _wasn't_ Stark or Fury). "I'll never tell."

Phil gave her a put-upon sigh. "So secretive."

"That's what pays my bills"

Phil rolled his eyes and bumped his hip against her own.

 

*******

Clint, Phil, Bucky, and Natasha were walking around town the next day when they, once again, came upon the Police Chief.

"You keep collecting strays Mr. Barton!" Cash called out gleefully as he got out of his car.

"No man, I think they keep collecting me!" Clint called back with a laugh.

Phil immediately elbowed Clint in the ribs.

Clint gasped and clutched his side. "Assault!! Office, arrest this man!"

Cash snorted. "I don't arrest people I know can beat me up."

Clint pouted, "You're no fun Mr. Police Chief. I'm sure Phil would only beat you up a little"

Cash just laughed and waved at the quartet, not even bothering to respond to Clint as he headed into the Police Department.

Clint smiled happily and turned his head over to look at Natasha, who was giving him a strange look. "What? Do I have spinach in my teeth again?"

Natasha shook her head. "It's just... you're seem so... settled? It's a shock to see. A good shock, but a shock nonetheless"

Clint blushed (though he would never admit to this fact), "Yeah. Sometimes it's weird for me too."

Phil beamed at Clint as he wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "I like how settled you are."

"Ew, PDA. Natasha make them knock it off"

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Come on Bucky, leave the two lovebirds alone. Why don't you buy me an ice cream instead"

"Yes ma'am."

 

*******

"A Roadhouse? I thought that was just a Swayze movie" Clint said as he entered the bar.

Bucky gave him a droll look. "Barton, every small town has a roadhouse. Where else would they get into fights when the rodeo isn't in season?"

"Actually, there aren't that many fights here." A passing waitress said. "Tiny keeps that all under control." The woman nodded to a very large man guarding the door.

Natasha pursed her lips. "Tiny?"

Phil hummed, "I would rather not ask"

"Agreed." The other three said in unison, before finding a table.

"What can I get for y'all?" The same waitress from before asked them after they sat down.

"Your best IPA on tap" Phil answered immediately.

"Vodka, neat." Bucky and Natasha responded together, monotone.

"I'll have a coke, on the rocks. Shaken not stirred" Clint finished, with a wink.

The waitress giggled and winked back, before disappearing to the bar.

Clint leaned back in his seat and clasped his hands behind his head.

"What's with the smirk?" Phil murmured after a moment.

Clint hummed and closed his eyes, "Dunno... Just happy, I guess."

Phil smiled. "Good. Me too."

"Ugh. Don't get sappy on us, or I'll get Tiny to kick y'all out."

"Shut up Bucky, you're a pain in the ass."

"No. The only pain in your ass is Phil"

"Boys, we're in public. Please shut the fuck up" Natasha said sweetly.

Both Clint and Bucky snapped their mouths closed and looked away, causing Phil to burst out laughing. "Only you Tasha, only you."

"Okay ladies and gents, here are your drinks" The waitress called out, plopping the drinks down onto the table. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to call out. We also have pizza if you guys get peckish"

With that, the waitress strutted away, and they were left to themselves. They drank in silence, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere at the table.

That feeling lasted precisely an hour. That's when the trouble began. 

It started with a cut-off shriek. It was one of the other waitresses, she's been pushed to the ground by some drunk redneck.

"Hey!" One of the cowboys cried, jumping up to stop the asshole from hitting the girl again.

The cowboy was knocked aside quickly, as were the next three men. Even poor Tiny was out when the assailant knocked out his knee.

"Shit," Clint hissed as he jumped up. The other three at the table were ready as well, but not as willing as Clint to do something stupid.

"Don't do something dumb" The others called out as Clint went after the man.

The redneck was quick, even drunk, Clint would give him that.

But quick didn't always necessarily mean smart.

The problem the other cowboys had faced, was that they fought with brawn; not brains. Using his wits, Clint blocked three punches, and used the guy's next hit to knock him off his feet. Pinning him to the ground, Clint looked at a near-by waitress,

"Got any rope?"

The girl's eyes were huge. "Uh... Yeah, we do. Let me go get it."

Clint nodded and continued to hold the guy down. "Stop struggling man, I don't want to have to knock you out. I will, but I don't want to."

The man snarled, "Shut the fuck up and get the hell off me."

Clint snorted, "Yeah not gonna happen."

The man continued to yell abuse at Clint as the waitress came back with the rope.

"Thanks darling"

The waitress blushed and stepped back as Clint tired the man up. "Okay, who do we need to call?"

"Don't worry Mr. Barton. I've already called the Police Chief and the Sheriff." Tiny told him as he limped his way over.

Clint nodded, but continued to pin his 'friend' to the ground.

"Hey Phil. You proud of me? I didn't end up in a dumpster this time!"

Phil rolled his eyes. "Yes, incredibly proud."

"As am I." Tiny said. "I ain't seen anybody move like that since Cash Grier took down that Jack Clark guy."

Clint raised an eyebrow, "Oh?"

"Yeah. That was awesome! You one of those ex-mercs too?"

Clint looked at Phil, Bucky, and Natasha.

"Too?" They all said at once.

 

*******

It turns out Jacobsville and the surrounding areas were crawling with ex-and not so ex-mercs. Who knew?

Cash and Carson Hayes had arrived at Shea's at the same time. The Roadhouse was technically in the sheriff's jurisdiction, but Tiny had called Cash in encase the man couldn't be taken down.

"You surprise me Barton" Cash said with a smirk. "Didn't take you for the fighting type."

Natasha snorted. "Clint? He's the literal embodiment of 'fight me'. The only one that beats him is Steve 'I don't like bullies' Rogers himself."

Clint glared at Natasha. The woman just sent him back an air kiss.

Cash laughed. "That's good to know. Should I expect you at Shea's every weekend from now on?"

"No!" Phil and Clint both said at once.

Cash looked over at Sheriff Hayes, who shrugged his shoulders. "Wouldn't be the first, nor the last"

Clint pouted and sat back in his seat, "I get no love in this town."

"Yeah, but you get love from me. So I think that should count" Phil said as he pressed a kiss to Clint's cheek.

"Awwwww" All the waitresses cooed.

"Ewwww" Bucky cried out, louder than all the women combined.

Clint turned and pushed his lips closer to Phil's ear. "Can we find a way to get Steve here? Bucky needs to get laid, soon."

Phil smirked, "I'll see what I can do"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	10. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve meets the town. Or rather, Steve meets a mob. And has sex. A lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Not gonna lie I've had this written in a notebook for two weeks and haven't wanted to type it all out because I'm lazy. Whoops? BUT AT LEAST IT'S BEEN LESS THAN A MONTH HALLELUJER

"It's done."

Clint frowned and looked over at Phil. "What's done? The laundry?"

Phil rolled his eyes, shaking his head. "No. Steve."

Clint blinked. "Steve is coming?"

"Yes."

"Coolio"

 

*******

Phil honestly hadn't expected this when he invited (read: demanded) that Steve come down and see (read: have sex with) Bucky. Clint was laughing his ass off and had been for the last hour as Phil valiantly tried to pry the adoring mob away from Steve.

:When I asked you to come down here, I didn't ask it to be in uniform" Phil chided with a pant.

Steve grimaced. "Just came off a mission and didn't get a chance to change. Sorry?"

Phil sighed. "Not your fault. I didn't expect people to go insane"

Steve shrugged, "I'm used to it, to be honest. Maybe if I change and put on sunglasses they won't recognize me?"

Clint was finally winding down his laughter. But a few giggles escaped as he spoke, "Buddy. Pal. Broski. Everybody knew Clark Kent was Superman. Glasses don't work for shit"

Steve sighed heavily. "Fuck"

 

*******

Clint was _still_ letting off a chuckled or two an hour later. They had finally fought off the adoring crowd, and had made their way back to the farm house.

"Is Bucky still out with Natasha?" Phil asked when Steve went to go change.

Clint nodded. "Yeah. They won't be back from Houston for another hour, maybe two."

"Okay. Are you sure we fooled Bucky?"

Clint shrugged, "Pretty sure."

"Not positive?"

Clint shook his head. "You know Bucky, Phil. For all we know, he could have figured out we were sending for Steve before we even thought it up."

Phil's nose crinkled. "Shit, you got me there."

Clint waved a hand. "Not that it matters. Even if Bucky suspects our plan, he'll never guess in a million years about what Steve has up his sleeve."

Phil's eyebrow raised, "Pardon?"

Clint winked. "Let's just say Bucky and Steve won't be coming out of the bedroom any time soon."

"...Gross"

Clint laughed and wrapped an arm around Phil's shoulders, smacking a kiss to his cheek. "Come on Secret Agent Man, let's go watch a movie."

"Your wish, is my command."

 

*******

Phil and Clint were half way through Jersey Boys, when Bucky and Natasha got home.

"Hello?" Natasha called out.

"In here!" Phil answered back with a yawn (watching movies always made Phil sleepy, not that he would ever admit that to anyone but Clint).

Natasha slinked into the room and plopped down in the recliner next to the sofa they were lounging on.

"Where's Bucky?" Phil asked.

Natasha smirked and reached out for the bowl of popcorn in Clint's lap. He released it reluctantly. "I sent him to his room. Told him Clint had been in there messing around"

Phil laughed, "Oh yeah. That'll get him in there for sure. The possibility that Clint had messed with his stuff? No brainer."

Clint pouted. "Why are you all so mean to me?"

Phil and Natasha just shared a look.

"..Assholes.."

 

*******

Clint had been right when he said it would take Steve and Bucky a few days to emerge from the bedroom.

Luckily, Bucky had sound-proofed the house when he moved in, otherwise it would have been a lot of awkward long nights for everyone involved.

It was almost three days after Steve had initially arrived when they finally emerged to get something to eat.

"Finally wore out?" Clint mumbled as he drank coffee from his pot.

"Finally hungry." Bucky responded smugly as he headed to the fridge.

"Sorry we haven't been very hospitable." Steve said with a yawn.

"Don't apologize to that bozo. He and Phil _still_ spend days in bed."

Clint made a face, "You're an ass."

Bucky raised an eyebrow as he carried a carton of eggs to the stove. "Did I say anything untrue?"

"No."

"Then please, tell me why I'm an ass"

"Because you just are."

"Okay! Before this escalates further, which I know it will - how about we get something to eat? Clint, where's Phil and Nat?"

Clint took another drag of his coffee. "Horse browsing?"

"Horse-?"

"Browsing. I'm purchasing some livestock, and they wanted to help. Secretly, I think it's just because they wanted to go see and ride some horses. No altruism involved."

Bucky snorted out a laugh. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

Steve looked out at the pasture, "You're gonna have horses?"

Clint paused for a moment. "Yes. And some cows, goats, a bull.... Should I have invited you to go look at the horses?"

Bucky groaned, "No Clint - don't get him started."

"Does he not like-"

"I _love_ horses!!!" Steve exclaimed.

"You got him started."

Clint looked around blindly. "What? Who? Started? What did I get started?"

Steve grabbed Bucky's arm. "We have to go catch up to Phil and Nat!"

Bucky glared at Clint, who merely looked bewildered at Steve acting like a two year old on a sugar rush.

"Steve," Bucky cooed. "I think it's a little too late to be casing after-"

"No! I want to go see the horses!"

Clint's eyes were wide, and his coffee pot was dangling from his fingertips.

Bucky's glared intensified. "I blame you, Barton"

Clint blinked. "Yeah... Uhm... I know where they're going if you-"

"Yes!!" Steve said, practically bouncing in place. "Come on Buck, let's go change!"

Bucky continued to glare at Clint as Steve pulled him back to the bedroom.

"Whoops?" Clint said to the empty kitchen, still not fully understanding what just happened.

 

*******

Phil had never touched this many horses in his entire fucking life. It was a horse extravaganza, and Phi felt like a fifty year old man shouldn't be this excited. About anything. But, when Steve showed up acting like this was the greatest moment of his entire life, Phil didn't feel as bad. It also helped that Natasha had spent twenty minutes cooing in Russian to a very tiny pony named Rupert, all the while feeding him sugar cubes from her hand.

"Who so glum, chum?" Natasha asked Bucky after a while. The man had been frowning and intensely glaring since they had arrived, which was normal for Bucky - but also slightly unnerving.

Bucky turned his glare to Phil, "It's all your boyfriend's fault."

Phil nodded slowly. "It usually is... But _what_ exactly is his fault... This time?"

Bucky gestured wildly in Steve's direction. "He was fine until that dumbass mentioned horses."

Phil nodded again, "Okay. That makes sense... I think?"

Bucky sighed. "Steve is a pain in the ass about animals. He turns into a child and it takes for fucking ever to calm him down."

Phil laughed, finally cluing in to Bucky's pain. "I see. You're no longer his boyfriend, but a Steve-wrangler?"

"Yes!"

"Well, now you know how I feel dealing with Clint when you rile him up and let him go."

Bucky hissed, "Don't try and pull that karma bullshit on my Phillip J Coulson. I fight dirty."

Phil laughed again and clasped Bucky's shoulder. "I'm sure you do. Steve is about to climb onto that really big horse."

"What? Steve, no! Get _down-"_

 

*******

When Steve stopped his horse obsession, the lot of them headed back into town and met Clint at Barbara's for a late lunch.

Bucky was still glaring at Clint, but not hard enough that the other man was actually worried about it.

"This is great!" Steve said as he leaned against Bucky, pancakes being shoved into his mouth. "Just like that old joint on third street, remember that Buck?"

Bucky frowned. "Aunt Em's?"

"Yes!"

"Oh yeah, this could easily be as hood as Aunt Em's."

"Aunt Em's? Never heard of it." Clint said, mouth also full of pancakes.

"It closed down in the 60s. It's a McDonald's now." Steve responded sadly.

"Ah..... The shit one?"

"The shit one."

"Damn. I'm sorry man."

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

Phil raised an eyebrow, "I'm not following the conversation."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Imagine Phil. The best, greasiest diner you can think of. I'm sure it's the one on 42nd, right? Well, imagine that being torn down and turned into the shittiest McDonald's you can imagine."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Clint and Steve responded.

 

*******

"You've collected another one." Cash said with a grin.

Clint shrugged his shoulders. "I'm sure I'll collect more."

"I'm sure you will" Cash said as he gave Clint a knowing look, but turned away before he could ask about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	11. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Tony Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'M SORRY THIS IS SO LATE. I was moving and started a new job so I've been a little all over the place. So, this chapter isn't the best - but I hope you like it all the same!

"Hawkeye!"

Clint blinked as a tiny tot threw herself at him, attaching herself to his leg.

"Uhm... what"

"Hawkeye!!!!!"

"How in the he-"

"Miss Bishop!" A woman cried as she came closer. "I thought I had lost you! You know you aren't supposed to run away from me!" The woman scolded as she tried (unsuccessfully) to rip the girl off of Clint's legs.

"Hawkeye!" She said firmly, gripping Clint's legs all the tighter.

The woman sighed in exasperation, "I'm so sorry sir. She's been watching all of the Avengers fights on youtube, and she's been obsessed with that Hawk-guy"

"Hawkeye" Both Clint and the girl said at once.

The woman waved a hand. "Whatever. Kate sweetie, it's time to go back home. This gentleman isn't really-"

"NO!" The girl, Kate, screamed.

The woman looked at Clint with the widest 'help me' eyes he had ever seen.

Sighing, Clint easily detached the girl and crouched down next to her.

"Listen kiddo. You need to listen to your friend here, okay?"

The girl pouted, "I wanna stay with you Hawkeye"

Clint grinned and reached over to rustle her hair gently. "I'm sure you do kiddo. But Hawkeye doesn't take apprentices until they're at least 18 and has had 10 years of archery experience, okay?"

Kate's pout turned into a thoughtful frown. "Are you sure?"

"Yes ma'am."

Kate pursed her lips, before shooting out her hand. "Deal"

Clint's eyebrows rose, but her shook hand. "Deal"

Smiling once more, the girl skipped off and grabbed the woman's hand. "See you soon Mr. Hawkeye!"

Clint laughed and waved at the girl as the woman raced her away, scolding her all the while.

"Kids."

 

*******

"So.... Hawkeye, huh?"

Clint groaned, "It's only been 30 minutes Phil!"

Phil laughed and pulled Clint towards him. "Cash called me and told me about the wild rumor going on. Wanted to know if there was any truth to it?"

Clint raised an eyebrow, "And what did you say?"

Phil smirked. "Told him it was classified"

Clint rolled his eyes, "I bet he told you that was a crock of bullshit"

"Yup."

Clint sighed, "Well. That secret didn't last long"

"Did you really expect it to"

"Yes"

"..."

Sigh. " _No."_

"Yeah that's what I thought. By the way, Tony will be here tomorrow."

"What?!"

  
*******

 "Omg, it's Tony Stark!!" 

Clint winced as some middle-aged woman shrieked in his ear.

"Yes, it is I - Tony Stark. No please ladies don't sWARM"

Clint watched in awe as several ladies (middle-aged and older) began to swirl around Tony.

"BARTON!" Tony said when he spotted Clint finally, his hand reaching out in desperation.

Grinning, Hawk reached for the hand and pulled Tony to safety. "You're lucky it was me, and not Phil. He would have left your ass hanging for another couple of minutes"

Tony took a few deep breaths and watched the mob struggle for the no longer there Tony. "Yeah, you're right. Speaking of which, how is Agent-Agent?"

"Good. Now come on, before they realize you're no longer-"

"There he is!!"

"RUN BITCH"

 

~

"So, this is where you live?" Tony asked in that carefully (but not really) concealed voice that just screamed 'I'm _way_ too rich for this bullshit'.

"Yep. Home Sweet Home. You gonna tell me why you showed up yet?"

Tony shrugged, "Seemed like the place to be. Plus, Pepper is mad at me, so I thought what the hell."

Clint rolled his eyes, "Is Pepper actually mad at you, or did you do something that scared her and she flipped?"

"No comment."

Clint sighed, "Well come on in then. I'm sure we'll get you something that will put you back in her good graces"

"Awww, I knew you cared Legolas."

"Don't push it"

 

~

"So is this eventually gonna be the new Avengers HQ, or is this just a coincidence?" Bucky said when he spotted Tony coming in.

Tony shrugged, "A little too small for all of us in here. But I think we could probably fit at least Thor and Bruce in."

"Woah, who said anything about Thor and Bruce?" Clint said as he entered the house.

"Oh did I not mention it? They'll be here in a couple days" Tony said absently as he started to snoop around the house.

"Phiiil!"

"Not my division!" Phil called out from the kitchen.

Clint pouted, "I was supposed to be anonymous in this town"

Tony snorted, "You're an Avenger. Nothing you do is anonymous"

Clint sighed, "Shut up Stark."

 

~

"So Tony Stark _and_ Steve Rogers, huh? You must be more important than you appear"

Clint looked over at a bemused Cash and sighed. "More important than I want to be, that's for certain."

Cash chuckled, "I think I'm beginning to figure that out. But are you and Phil gonna make me keep guessing, or will you tell me the truth?"

Clint pursed his lips, "Where would the fun be for me if I just tell you all my secrets?"

Cash sighed heavily, "I guess you're right about that. But don't  forget, I'm the Police Chief. I'll figure it out soon enough"

"I'm sure you will. If Old Mrs. Higgins doesn't first"

 

*******

"Tony this town is full of Billionaires, you can't buy it"

"Pretty sure I can."

"Nobody wants a Tonyville. Knock it off"

"Agent-Agent, your boyfriend is stopping me from fulfilling my dreams"

"Of what?!"

"Owning a town!"

"I'm not getting into the middle of this argument Stark"

"Phiiil!"

"Agent-agenttt!"

"No!"

"You're no fun Agent-Agent."

"Oh, bless my heart, you broke it."

"... Are you being sarcastic? I didn't know that was in your robot settings. Ow, OW CLINT STOP HITTING ME"

"My boyfriend is not a robot"

"Sheesh. Fine."

"Are you two done arguing? Everybody else is waiting for dinner to be served"

"Yes"

"Yep."

"Good. Go sit down before I put you both in time-out"

 

*******

Tony looked over at Natasha, "Are you sure this was a good idea? I kinda feel like he's more stressed with us here"

Natasha shook her head. "Trust me, this is better for him."

Tony shrugged, "If you say so. You three agree?"

"Yes"

"Okay, who's next?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	12. Thor and Bruce to the Rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says up top.... well, maybe not to the rescue... More like, they show up and eat food.... Same difference, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING
> 
> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))

 

"No, no, no! Put _down_ the kid, Thor!" Phil cried.

 

Thor looked over at him. "But, he said he was allowed to go with me on a flight with mjolnir"

 

Phil sighed, "Hey may think so buddy - but I don't think his parents would be too appreciative."

 

Thor pursed his lips and looked down at the six year old currently clinging to his leg. "Perhaps another time, when I have received word from your parents that a ride is acceptable."

 

The kid pouted, but released his grasp. "Okay.... I'll go ask my mama right now!!!"

 

Thor laughed as the boy scampered off, only to be grabbed by his mother and dragged away.

 

"Well that'll be great for their social media campaign" Phil muttered under his breath.

 

Thor clasped Phil's shoulder. "No worries, friend. All is fine. Now let's go to Barton's home so I may meet up with my brethren."

 

Phil grunted, but led the man over to Clint' truck.

 

 

*******

"Friends!!" Thor said as the door opened.

 

"Romans" Tony said in a deep, booming voice.

  
"Country-men, lend me your ears!!" Clint finished off with exuberance.

 

Thor smiled. "I have missed your humor... Now, come, we must eat - I'm famished!"

 

Clint looked over at Phil, and raised an eyebrow.

 

Phil wiggled his own and nodded.

 

"Cool, Barbara's it is." Clint said, "Everyone pile into the truck!"

 

"Woop!! Pancakes!!!" Tony yelled as he practically sprinted out of the house and over to the car.

 

"I'm glad we're making the children happy." Phil responded dryly as they all followed him out of the house.

 

 

*******

"Stark was right, these pancakes are glorious!!!" Thor said as he finished off his 3rd plate of the stuff.

 

Natasha snorted, "Thor you think everyone's pancakes are glorious."

 

"They are!!"

 

"He's got a point there" Bucky said as he snagged a bit of pancake right off of Steve's fork.

 

"Hey!"

 

"Snooze you loose Rogers"

 

"Snooze nothing you ass"

 

"Boys, boys, you're both pretty." Natasha said as she stole a piece of bacon from Clint's plate. Clint didn't bother to argue about it, like Steve. He knew better than that.

 

"Yes, this is a fine feast - now all we're missing is Banner!"

 

Phil sighed and rubbed at his nose. "This is gonna turn into a disaster, I just know it"

 

Clint chuckled and pressed a kiss to Phil's cheek.

 

*******

The knock on the door came later that night.

 

"It's Brucey-kins!" Tony said with glee as he jumped up from his spot on the couch. Racing over to the door, Tony skidded and almost went face first into a wall.

 

"Brucey-kins!!" Tony shouted when he finally got the door open.

 

"Hey Tony"

 

Bruce made his way inside (i.e. Tony dragged him inside) and settled (read: was thrown) onto Clint's couch.

 

"Hey Bruce, you hungry?" Clint asked, already getting up from his spot on Phil's lap to head to the kitchen.

 

"Definitely" Bruce said with a world-weary look.

 

Clint blinked. "Right... Bologna and cheese good? We we simple for dinner"

 

"Yeah, that'll be perfect"

 

"Cool, cool. Coming right up"

 

Bucky looked over at Bruce. "You're thin man... Barton! Make it a double, stat!"

 

"Who died and made you Queen, Barnes?" Clint shouted back.

 

"They're like an old married couple." Phil told Bruce with a smirk.

 

"I think it's cute." Steve said as Bucky glared daggers at him. Steve just blew him a kiss, causing the other man to roll his eyes.

 

Bruce nodded, "I'm used to it... Tony can you get off my lap?"

 

"Never!!"

 

Bruce sighed. "I knew... I knew, but I still asked"

 

Natasha rolled her eyes. "You two are the real married couple here. But that's besides the point. The Police Chief is on the porch"

 

A knock came mere seconds later.

 

"Witch!" Bucky hissed.

 

"Observant" Phil responded for her as he got up.

 

Phil opened the door and smiled at his old friend. "Hey Cash, what's up?"

 

Cash leaned against the doorway. "Are you guys the Avengers?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: JK I apologize for this being so late and so short. Honest to god I wrote this like 2 months ago and just never got around to posting it. I'm also hoping to get a least another chapter written and posted this week... But forgive me if it doesn't happen.


	13. The Secret is Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not really though, everyone knew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEEEEYYY, I posted a chapter in under a month. Go me!!!

"Oh no, our secret has been revealed!!" Tony yelped.

 

Phil sighed and rubbed at his forehead, "Tony the cat has been out of the bag about Iron Man for longer than I can remember."

 

Cash chuckled, "I remember that press conference. Shocked the hell out me with all the superhero talk. Can I come in?"

 

Phil stepped aside and swept out his hand for Cash to come in. "Clint is making a sandwich for one of our guests if you want anything."

 

"No, I'm good. Tippy made a huge meal, and I'm stuffed." Cash made his way inside, and sat down in one the recliners. "Now I've experience a lot in my life, but never anything like this."

 

"What? Meeting superheroes?" Natasha asked.

 

Cash nodded.

 

Phil snorted, "Trust me. It's nothing special. These guys are all assholes."

 

"Hey!" Everyone shouted at once.

 

Cash just laughed. "I think I figured that out myself. But this isn't quite a social visit. I have a favor to ask..."

 

Clint came back in and handed Bruce his sandwich before joining everyone back down on the couch. "A favor? Is this gonna be a fighting aliens favor, or a kissing babies favor?"

 

"Neither."

 

Clint's eyebrows raised. "Neither? Now this should be fun..."

 

Cash chuckled, "Just wait and hear me out... It may not be so fun after-all..."

 

 

*******

"Cash is wrong, I'm having the time of my life!" Clint said with a whoop.

 

Phil groaned, "Of course you would Barton. You're about to jump off another goddamn building, aren't you?"

 

"Yolo!"

 

Phil turned to Cash, "They may be having fun - but I'm certainly not."

 

Cash laughed, "If I had realized your guys were _this_ reckless, I would have asked someone else."

 

Phil sighed, "No. No this is good for them, specially Clint. He hasn't gotten out like this in a long time, he needed it."

 

Cash hummed, "And it's true. He never misses?"

 

"Damn straight."

 

Cash shook his head, "Incredible. Those drug lords won't know what fucking hit them."

 

Phil chuckled, "It'll truly be a cake walk for my guys.... But I wouldn't have guessed there would be drug lords hanging around in this area. Not after all those busts years ago"

 

"Oh you heard about those?"

 

"Oh yeah. Our agency was very interested in some of the people this little town has taken down. I was very impressed...."

 

"Thanks. We try."

 

Phil crossed his arms and looked back at the security feed. "So, why did you ask for my guys instead of the other mercs in town?"

 

Cash hummed, "I wanted to see what your superheroes could do....."

 

Phil raised an eyebrow, "What my guys could do? Have you never seen the news reel of their battles?"

 

Cash shrugged, "Sure. But you know how the news can twist things around. It's different seeing it with your own two eyes."

 

Phil pursed his lips. "I feel like you have an even deeper ulterior motive."

 

Cash looked over at Phil and grinned. "A good cop never divulges his secrets...."

 

Phil narrowed his eyes, "You're a pain in the ass Grier."

 

Cash laughed and clapped Phil on the shoulder. "Thank you Coulson, kinder words have never been spoken to me-holy shit!"

 

Phil didn't even bother to look at the screen. "He jumped off the damn building, didn't he?"

 

"Hell yes he did! And he didn't even-"

 

"Use a rope? Yeah, he's an asshole."

 

"Jesus Phil, if Tippy ever did anything like that I would beat her ass."

 

Phil shook his head, "It wouldn't do any good for Clint. He'll just keep doing it until it kills him... and I know it will one day."

 

Cash shook his head. 'Damn..."

 

Phil nodded, "Yeah.... I know. I'm not looking at the video though, is he hurt?"

 

"He's rubbing his shoulder, but I don't think so."

 

Phil let out a sigh of relief, "Why I love that idiot, I'll never know.... Come on, everything should be all over now..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is gonna be the mission all from the Avengers eyes. It'll be much more exciting than those two old guys talking ;)
> 
>  
> 
> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


	14. The Avengers Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission from the Avengers perspective.... AKA a lot of bickering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I swear to god I wrote this chapter a couple of days ago, I just didn't get a chance to post it

"Look at us, the band back together, taking on bad guys and all that jazz!" Tony said over the comms.

 

"Shut up Stark, this is supposed to be stealthy." Natasha hissed back at him.

 

"Come on now Natasha, we're in full Avengers regalia - ain't nothing stealthy about this." Tony responded with a smirk.

 

"Aww, I've missed this. I love hanging out with you guys." Clint said sarcastically over the line.

 

"How about we have radio silence, just 'cuz? We need to set a good example..." Steve said with a sigh.

 

"For who Stevie? The drug dealers? Yeah, that'll do 'em some good - our stellar example"

 

"Can please everyone shut up..." Bruce finally begged over the line quietly.

 

Nobody would defy Bruce's order, specially with how nice he had asked. The comms went silent as the team edged their way into the building.

 

Both Bucky and Clint were up high on nearby buildings, watching the rest of the teams' backs from differing vantage points.

 

"We should have a theme song. "Clint whispered to Bucky over a private comm link.

 

"... For what, precisely?"

 

"Sniper bros!!"

 

"...Shut up Barton."

 

"You love me"

 

"Like a hooker loves the clap."

 

"Awww, Bucky!! You really _do_ care ab-"

 

"MAYDAY, MAYDAY. SHIT GOING SOUTH!!!" Tony yelled over the comm (very loudly, if Clint might add).

 

Both Bucky and Clint cut the chitter-chatter and got back into position, their preferred weapons firing as soon as the drug dealers (and company) began to pile out of the building.

 

"Keep firing, we're rounding them up!" Steve called out, the shield already spinning from his hand and hitting the bag guys in some morbid form of pinball.

 

Clint kept firing, until finally, it seemed like everything was over.

 

"Hey Barton?"

 

"Yes Barnes"

 

"Building going down."

 

Clint frowned, "What are you-" then he felt the familiar rumbling of a building collapsing under his feet.

 

"Well shit."

 

"Yeah, need a lift?"

 

"Nah. I'm good."

 

Clint then did, what Clint does best.

 

He jumped.

 

 

*******

Cash watched with an amused smirk on his face as Phil yelled at Clint. Well, better put, continued to yell at Clint. The man had been doing so for near 20 minutes, it was amazing to watch. Even Cash didn't have that kind of endurance.

 

"Does he always do that?" He asked the Black Widow.

 

She shook her head. "Sometimes he just sighs and tells Clint how disappointed he is. Trust me, Clint finds that worse. Phil yelling to him is nothing..."

 

Cash hummed thoughtfully for a moment about that statement, before bursting out with a laugh as Clint shut Phil up with a kiss.

 

"Yeah, that happens a lot too." Natasha said with a snort.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) )) 
> 
> Okay, so I should be wrapping up this fic soon. Don't know when, don't know where, don't know how. But It's gonna happen. Thanks for reading!


	15. The End.... For Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last Chapter!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Whoops this was longer than a month

Cash knocked on the door and raised an eyebrow at the seen in front of him. "Did a tornado blow through?"

 

Phil grimaced. "Everybody is packing up to leave. Work to do, you know?"

 

Cash chuckled. "I do know... Are you taking our Clint and James with you? The Tea League will be devastated....:

 

Phil laughed. "Only for a short while... They'll be back soon though."

 

Cash groaned and pressed his Stetson to his chest. "The complaints I'll deal with,,, How could you do this to me?"

 

Phil rolled his eyes. "Trust me - you'll get more complaints if they stay. Natasha says they'll get mopey"

 

The older man wrinkled his noise. "Rory says I get mopey when Tippy leaves too.... So I guess I can't say much"

 

Clint came by with a box in his hand. "Oh Hey! Do you have another missing for us Mr. Police Chief?"

 

Cash shook his head. "I know you're anxious to jump off another building, but I was just dropping by to see if the rumors were true..."

 

Clint's shoulders drooped. "Oh... Yeah... SHIELD needs all of us back at HQ. But I'm coming back! Didn't buy this farm just to sell it back again"

 

"Well we all appreciate that. But you'll say goodbye to everyone, right? If you don't we may have a riot..."

 

Clint smiled. "Yeah. We just wanted to finish packing first, otherwise they may stop us from leaving!"

 

Phil sighed. "How we all accrued so much stuff I'll never know."

 

"Jacobsville Flea Market - gets ya every time."

 

Tony groaned loudly. "Ain't that the damn truth... Pretty sure I spent my entire fortune!"

 

Cash raised an eyebrow at Tony, then the other one soon followed as a robot passed by him carrying about six boxes. "Where did that come from..."

 

"It's better not to ask." Phil said with a sigh.

 

Cash pursed his lips. "Gotcha.... Well I'll leave you to your packing. See you guys at the goodbye party"

 

"Party?!" Several voices said at one.

 

Cash laughed and waved his hand as he walked out the door.

 

They would figure it out soon anyway.....

 

 

_The End (for now)_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))

**Author's Note:**

> (( You can prompt me if you wish for other fics, or for any ideas you may have about this fic at [ Hellogoodbye](http://hellogoodbye741.tumblr.com/ask) ))


End file.
